


a study on the neighbor

by xuxikr



Series: One Month, One Fic: 2019 [9]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A Bit Cliche, Alternate Universe - College/University, Babysitting, Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Single Parent Mark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-06-28 00:51:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19801297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xuxikr/pseuds/xuxikr
Summary: Donghyuck has problems with his neighbour. This is how he solves them.Alternatively, Donghyuck's neighbors are noisy and in doing his best to solve his problem, Donghyuck finds himself babysitting.





	a study on the neighbor

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt N-143, where Mark falls in love for his daughter's babysitter.
> 
> this is it!! it's my first time joining an nct fest, and it's been one hell of a ride. thank you for clicking on this, and thank you to all the friends that supported me through it all!! i couldn't have done it without you! thank you to the person who prompted this, i hope you'll like it!

The numbers in his digital wall clock stare at him as Donghyuck tries to go to sleep, limbs splayed out on his single bed like a starfish. In the deep of the night, only the sound of his neighbour’s child crying fills his ears.

He _gets_ it. Taking care of young children is a hard task, he knows—he has three younger siblings and being the oldest entails a lot of participation in raising them. But seriously? His digital clock tells him it is almost 3AM and he needs to be awake in five hours for his classes, where is his neighbour’s consideration?

He’s tried to counter what he hates with what he loves, tried to drown it out with music, but Donghyuck can only sleep if his surroundings are silent. He would have had gone for a higher-end apartment building with thicker walls if he had the luxury to, but as stated before, he has three other siblings. Unfortunately, he’s not the son of a business magnate that can afford high rise flats in Gangnam. He’s just the son of a seafood restaurant owner back in Busan. He has to compromise.

As he lies planted on his bed, he debates buying ear plugs from G-Market right at this moment—he wonders if they do rush delivery, if they can arrive in less than 30 minutes. Although South Korea’s delivery service is pretty damn efficient, he knows that it will not arrive before the sun rises.

Donghyuck throws himself around in his bed, trying to find a comfortable position but his old mattress seems to be hard on some parts and dips too low on others. Now, put his neighbour’s crying child on top of that to create a perfect sleepless night. Donghyuck’s going to be just fine.

He doesn’t know if it’s because it’s too quiet, or if their walls are too thin, or if the sleeplessness is causing Donghyuck’s senses to be heightened, but he’s sure that he hears a male adult crying in chorus with the baby.

Eventually, Donghyuck succumbs to his exhaustion and falls asleep to the sobbing like an odd, noisy lullaby.

◌

In the next week, his friends begin to notice.

“Are you okay?” Jeno quips as they sit under the big tree in the campus. Jaemin has lovingly prepared sandwiches for them and insisted on a picnic to celebrate the finishing of their Statistics exam. He doesn’t even know why Jaemin is taking up Statistics when he’s majoring in Computer Engineering but—to each their own.

Donghyuck’s only taking up Statistics because he needs math units for his Biology degree, Jeno’s a math lord with all his better-than-thou Civil Engineering degree. Renjun is perhaps the oddest of them all, he double majors in Painting and Ballet but just wants to share a class with all of them.

Donghyuck bites into the egg mayonnaise sandwich, too irritated that he bites onto the kitchen towel Jaemin wrapped his sandwich in. Renjun laughs and throws him some tissues to spit the paper into. “No,” he mumbles through the bite of sandwich, spitting the paper he bit into the tissue, “my neighbour has a baby and it’s always crying at every ass o’clock.”

Jaemin makes a surprised sound as he pours out the strawberry milk he has made for all of them. Bless his heart, he doesn’t know how he’ll get his sustenance if he isn’t friends with Jaemin. Renjun would let him starve but rush him to the hospital once he’s fainted of hunger, and Jeno doesn’t know how to cook. Donghyuck is too stingy to spend money on good food. “But I thought only university students stayed in your building?”

Donghyuck crumples the tissue and sets it aside, downs his masticated sandwich with the strawberry milk before speaking. “I know, right? But I haven’t seen them ever. They’re kind of mysterious.”

Renjun puts his two cents in, thanking Jaemin for the milk. “Have you told your landlady? Aren’t babies like—banned? They’re basically pets.”

Jeno, mid-drink, snorts and chokes on the liquid. Renjun and Donghyuck burst into laughter while Jaemin tries to help his friend. Still in his fits of giggles at Jeno’s absolute failure, Donghyuck responds to Renjun. “That’s a good one but—I’m no snitch.”

Renjun rolls his eyes, as Jeno calms down from the whole snorting milk out of his nose thing, Jaemin turns to Donghyuck again. “But you’re gonna have to confront them one way or another if they’re bothering you to the point of losing sleep.”

“And you look like shit,” Renjun comments, Donghyuck makes a face at him.

Donghyuck knows that, that he has to confront them one way or another but he also understands how hard it is to raise a child and from looks (or rather, _sounds_ ) of it, his neighbour is raising their child alone.

It’s just a hunch, but it’s not a Donghyuck brand of hunch if it’s not based on previous evidences. As a scientist, he likes to call it his hypotheses, educated and intelligent guesses.

Evidence one: sometimes, he hears his neighbour on a good day. He hears laughing from a small child and a sound of pure, unadulterated laughter from an adult. He theorizes it’s a male, the voice not too deep but enough for Donghyuck to associate with an adult male. It’s a good sound, he concludes. At least there are times when the kid’s not being the spawn of Satan by crying its guts out.

Evidence two: he once caught his neighbour leaving groceries out by the door because one trip is not enough. He wonders how it feels to have enough money for one trip to be insufficient.

Evidence three: _Appa_. It’s the only word he overhears the child screaming at the top of its lungs whenever the door opens and his neighbour comes home.

“I’ll do it soon, no worries.” He reassures his friends and takes another bite of his sandwich. Renjun offers his presence if he gets too scared of confrontations but Donghyuck kicks his leg and tells him he’s not a wuss.

Just empathetic.

◌

The confrontation comes sooner rather than later.

He’s home from a three-hour lecture on Botany when it happens. It’s one of the subjects he’s truly enjoyed, so he feels invigorated to transfer his messy notes onto his laptop when he gets back. Donghyuck always prefers traditional note-taking during lectures as compared to taking notes on his laptop, so he does it at the every end of the day instead. He learns more effectively this way.

Because of his excitement, he forgets to close his door and he only learns this when he hears a very familiar sound of crying from outside his room. Usually, the crying comes from across the very thin partition of his apartment and his neighbour’s but now, the crying sounds—closer, somehow.

Like it’s coming from his living room.

Donghyuck picks up the thing nearest to him, which is his very big and very thick lecture notebook in case he needs to attack. So very carefully does he tiptoe out of his bedroom, cautious as to not make any noise but when he meets with the trespasser, the rush of anxiety is overwhelmed by a crushing sense of fondness.

“You’re a baby,” he sighs out, half in awe and half in confusion as the girl, not any older than two, stares back at him with the widest set of eyes he’s ever seen. Her eyes are gleaming with beady tears, falling down to her plump cheeks but when Donghyuck smiles at her, the smile is returned in an instant.

“Hi there,” he says, voice now immediately a pitch higher, more child-friendly. He usually has a voice he uses for his siblings whenever he needs them to follow his words but this time, he uses the voice that makes him sound a little bit nicer. He kneels down to her level, places down his notebook next to him and he’s surprised at how fast she warms up to him as she comes running into his open arms. “Hi, what’s your name?”

“Lee,” she begins, burrowing her face into his chest and Donghyuck pats her head in response. He has a big, _big_ hunch that this is the baby responsible for his sleepless nights but now that he has come face to face to her, he feels guilty for despising his neighbours. She’s too cute to have negative feelings for, she’s an angel.

“Lee? Is that your name? I’m Lee too, Lee Donghyuck.” It’s more than likely that Lee is her family name. That’s good. At least she knows her full name. “Can you tell oppa your name? How does your appa call you?”

Donghyuck adjusts himself, now seated on the floor so the girl can comfortably sit down as well. “Appa’s a meanie.” She states resolutely, her upwards eyebrows meeting in a cute crease in the middle of her forehead. Her tiny hands are balled in fists against Donghyuck’s chest, and it takes all willpower for him not to laugh at how cute this all is.

Carefully, Donghyuck unclasps her tiny fists. “You have to tell oppa who’s your appa. He’s very worried about you.”

The girl and Donghyuck share a moment of eye contact, where Donghyuck proceeds to smile warmly at her until the cold expression on her face unscrews and she huffs. She stands up from where she’s sitting on Donghyuck’s lap, takes Donghyuck’s pinky and proceeds to drag him out of his own apartment.

Whoever this girl’s parents are, he’s sure that they have one hell of a personality.

Donghyuck follows her out of his apartment, bending down almost ninety degrees fully because of their height difference. And unsurprisingly, he feels a sense of fulfilment when his hypothesis gets proven right. She stops right in front of the next door, letting go of Donghyuck’s pinky and putting her hands on her waist.

“Okay,” he tells her as he knocks on the door. He wonders how this small human has managed to get out of the apartment. He’s not the kind of person to judge strangers, and he knows his neighbour is trying their very best parenting this strong child but if their kid got out of the apartment without them knowing—then it’s really time he begins to question their parenting capabilities. What if she got into the wrong apartment? What if the person next door isn’t as kind as he is? What if—

The person that appears behind the door is no older than he is. He has black hair sticking up in all directions, wide eyes behind round glasses, cute shaped lips when surprise overcomes him. The last thing Donghyuck notices is his half-undone necktie, a missing sock from his feet and he is generally just a picture of a university student trying to get by the semester.

No way. Is this the kid’s father?

He doesn’t even realize that the girl’s hiding behind him, because he’s too goddamn busy staring open-mouthed at his neighbour. Until the neighbour speaks, and the raspy way his voice sounds indicates that he has just awoken from sleep. “Sorry? Can I help you?”

Donghyuck suddenly finds his tongue again. He closes his mouth immediately, his hands reaching out backwards to hold the girl’s hand as she tugs on his pants. “Hi, sorry—but do you know this girl?” He steps aside a little, but the girl follows him as he moves. The strangers looks questioningly at them, until Donghyuck moves enough for him to get a proper glimpse at the girl and then—

“Cheonsa!” The neighbour slash stranger is suddenly on his knees, reaching out for the girl but the girl is using Donghyuck as a shield, grasping Donghyuck’s pants so tight he feels as if it might fall to the floor.

“Okay, okay—hold on.” Donghyuck tries to calm her down, putting up a palm in front of the man as he crouches down as well so they’re all at the same level. The man looks at her with an expression an odd mix of confusion and fear. Donghyuck understands, if a stranger is with his two-year-old girl, he’ll be furious as hell.

But the girl calms at Donghyuck’s presence, stays still when Donghyuck gets in between them and starts talking to Cheonsa. “Cheonsa, do you know this man?”

Still looking at the floor with her fists at her sides, Cheonsa nods with a big pout, her lower lip jutting out dramatically. “This is appa.” She states.

Oh. So he’s correct, yet again.

Donghyuck turns to her father with an apologetic smile. “She’s upset with you for some reason—I’m sure you know.”

“I don’t…” The father says sheepishly in a hushed tone, burying his face into his palms and sitting completely on the floor. Donghyuck stares at him with wide eyes.

“You don’t know why your daughter’s upset at you?” He asks, he expects himself to sound judging, but the tone of his voice comes out softer than he anticipated. Almost worried, almost as if he wants to help him. His neighbour looks helpless, after all.

At the father’s sombre figure, the daughter seems to soften up and she gets Donghyuck’s attention as she tries to hold back her tears—it doesn’t take her long before she’s sobbing her heart out, running to hug her dad.

“Sorry!” She cries, wraps her tiny arms around her dad’s neck before he ultimately collapses in his hold. Donghyuck smiles at the sight of the father pressing a kiss to his daughter’s cheek.

“Appa’s sorry too,” he says, pulling away just a little to look at her, “will you tell me why you’re upset? Appa won’t know what to do if you don’t tell him what you’re feeling.”

She sniffs, wipes the snot running out of her nose with the hem of her dress. Donghyuck chuckles. It almost feels as if he’s intruding, but he also feels that it’d be rude to just stand up and leave. In the end, he decides to stay and watch the touching reconciliation. Through the tears and hiccups, Donghyuck makes out the following words. “Appa’s sleeping… I… I’m bored.”

“Oh no, sweetheart. I’m so sorry, it’ll never happen again, okay? Next time, you can wake me up.” The dad tucks her daughter’s hair behind her ears, wipes her tears away from her cheeks and Donghyuck feels something warm creep up to him at the sight.

Then, it all clicks. He’s a young father trying to balance work and life, that’s why it’s always noisy at every ass o’clock and his daughter’s going through a rough patch in her toddler years now. However, all this is still hypothesis. Donghyuck is determined to prove this though.

When Cheonsa has calmed enough to be picked up by the dad, she almost instantly falls asleep in his arms after all the crying. Standing up now, his neighbour finally faces him with the most grateful smile Donghyuck has ever seen on someone’s face. “Thank you so much for bringing her back—I don’t know what I’d do if something bad happened to her.”

“It’s no problem,” he says with a smile, tucking his hands into the back pockets of his jeans, “but you really have to teach her about not talking to strangers. She seems lovely.”

His neighbour laughs silently, eyes crinkling until they disappear and Donghyuck berates himself for crushing on a father. Probably married. His eyes dart to the left hand— _no_ ring.

“I will, thank you for the reminder. But… let’s not be strangers from now on, I’m Mark and as you know, this is my daughter, Cheonsa.”

Mark has a hand outstretched for Donghyuck to take, but all that’s in Donghyuck’s brain is the line ‘let’s not be strangers from now on’. _What. Is. That_.

He snaps out of it quickly enough for it not to be awkward, takes Mark’s hand in his and shakes it. “I’m Donghyuck, I live next door.”

Mark (it’s an oddly fitting name, Donghyuck thinks) makes a sound of surprise, and then the next thing that follows is a long string of apologies. “Oh!” Mark’s still holding his hand. “You’re the neighbour I’ve been meaning to apologize to! We’re always noisy every night and I’m really, really apologetic about that… Cheonsa’s in her terrible two’s and it’s taking all my willpower not to cry when she’s crying.”

Donghyuck chuckles to himself, vividly reminding the night he definitely heard Mark crying in duet with Cheonsa. Finally, Mark lets go of his hand and Donghyuck shoves his back inside his pocket. “It’s fine!” He chirps almost too eagerly, then clears his throat. “I mean, I understand… I grew up with a lot of siblings, so I know a thing or two about taking care of kids.”

Donghyuck doesn’t expect his meeting slash confrontation with his neighbour to be like this, more importantly he has never in his whole hypothesizing session ever tried to think that the neighbour would be this cute. Donghyuck is so fucked up.

“Seriously, dude. Thank you so much for bringing her back. I’ll try not to bother you anymore.” He makes a cross at his chest. How cute. “Well… I have to bring her in now before she wakes up and gets all grumpy again.” Mark laughs heartily and Donghyuck can’t help but laugh along.

“Sure, sure—” he says, stepping backwards, “see you around.”

Before Mark closes the door, he flashes Donghyuck a smile and a wave. “See you around!”

Donghyuck is seriously so fucked.

◌

Donghyuck hasn’t had a crush in almost a year, so he’s queasy about the Things he felt for Mark at their first meeting. Mark is cute, in more ways than one but Mark has a daughter and possibly still unmarried but might have a girlfriend—he’s not a homewrecker. However, his situation still remains, his crush on Mark is irrefutable and what happens a few days later seems to just slam the nail on the coffin.

It’s the weekend and while the weekend means finally going out with friends to get drunk, the weekend also means doing his laundry if he wants to wear fresh clothes the next week. His apartment has a small washing machine, but it has given up on him last week and he still hasn’t gone around to having it fixed. So for today, he has to go out to the laundromat across the street and do his laundry there.

He has a huge hamper, struggling to carry it as he exits out of his apartment. The big load impairs his seeing but he feels a small force crash against his leg and hears the sound of “Hyuckie!” as chubby arms wrap themselves around a leg.

He’s confused for a moment, looking down for what it is but a smile blossoms from his face when he sees Mark coming out of his door, holding a basket of clothes too. Cheonsa’s hugging his leg, beaming up at him when Donghyuck finally moves away his hamper.

“Hyuckie?” He asks Mark, then turns to look at Cheonsa who nods at him happily. He notices the dimples under her eyes, the same ones Mark has.

Mark shuffles so they’re next to each other, and they start walking together to the elevator. Cheonsa hugging his leg is a slight obstacle, causing him to waddle as Cheonsa steps on his foot. “It’s what she’s been calling you. I’ve been trying to teach her it’s ‘Donghyuck’ but syllables are hard.” Mark says with a proud smile, taking Cheonsa’s hand in his as he holds the basket with his other hand.

Cheonsa joins her dad’s side, a skip in her step as they enter the elevator. “Hyuckie…” He mumbles the newfound nickname, and he definitely likes the sound of it. The doors begin to close, with Mark and Donghyuck standing next to each other. Cheonsa is in between them, pressing her hands to her ears because of the pressure in the elevator.

Donghyuck looks at Mark as their shoulders brush, the silence of the small compartment filling the atmosphere, there’s an exchange of a smile, a hint of laughter. Donghyuck panics because Mark is cute when he laughs—he asks the obvious. “Laundry?”

Mark nods. “Saturdays are the only days I can do anything house related.” He explains. “I work all week, and I also have classes at noon as I work in the wee hours of the morning—sorry, is that too much information?”

Donghyuck shakes his head vehemently as they walk out of the elevator and into the lobby, making their way across the street to the laundromat. “No, it’s okay. I can overshare too.”

Donghyuck pauses for a moment, eyes wide at how he just cannot help his mouth from running—but when Mark laughs, throwing his head back as he does so, Donghyuck feels relief and something else rush over him. “Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page, Hyuckie.”

“Hyuckie! Hyuckie!” Cheonsa jumps up and down as she pronounces Donghyuck’s new nickname, seeming to agree with their conversation although Donghyuck doubts she understands what they’re laughing about.

A few people had arrived earlier than them in the laundromat, but Mark and Donghyuck have found free machines right next to each other. Donghyuck finds it easy to talk to him, for someone that finds small talk unbearable, he likes talking to Mark—and it’s not small talk at all.

They’re sitting next to each other now, Cheonsa playing with her toy cars in front of them as they watch on fondly. “How old is she again?” Donghyuck asks curiously, glancing up at Mark whose eyes are still concentrated on his daughter. Up close, Donghyuck can see the bags under his eyes and the beginning lines of wrinkles spreading across otherwise a youthful face. Mark must be trying so hard. Donghyuck feels bad for judging him prematurely.

Mark looks at him, meets his eyes then giggles before turning back to Cheonsa. “Oh, she’s turning three!” He says with much pride. “She’s only two but her vocabulary’s really wide, and she’s super smart as well too.”

“I agree with that.” Donghyuck comments. There’s a question that’s always been scratching at him ever since he started being disturbed nightly about Cheonsa’s crying, but it feels too intruding to even think about letting those words slip out of his mouth.

“Hyuckie,” Mark calls him and Donghyuck looks away from the lint on his sneakers.

“Yeah?”

“I know… Cheonsa’s been crying a lot recently… not recently—well for a long time now and it must have been such a bother to you and I’ve always meant to apologize but I haven’t found the right time and I didn’t know what kind of apology offering I should give you because I literally didn’t know who you are but—”

“Mark,” Donghyuck cuts him off, a small laugh tugging the side of his lips at how much Mark is rambling. “It’s fine, it’s okay—I understand.”

Mark seems to calm down at that, catching his breath as he dissolves into a small smile. “Are you sure? I know it’s loud—she throws really bad tantrums and today is actually a pretty good day.”

Donghyuck tilts his head to the side. He’s not a child psychologist nor an expert parent, but he took three units of Psychology last semester and remember a little something about childhood development. “Do you know where it’s coming from? Her tantrums—I mean.”

Hesitance flicks into Mark’s irises for a while, but he blinks it away and the next expression he shows is full of resolve. Somehow, Donghyuck wants to brace himself for whatever Mark’s going to say next.

“I think I do… It’s… sorry, this is going to be really personal, and you don’t have to listen if you don’t want to but I’m just answering your question so—”

“Mark,” he cuts him off again, places a hand on his wrist and offers a warm smile, “I told you, right? It’s okay to overshare, I’ll overshare later if you want. Just tell me, I won’t judge.”

Mark glances at the hand on his wrist but doesn’t flinch away. Donghyuck lets their hands fall back on their laps, coaxing Mark into telling the story he has to tell. In front of them, Cheonsa is watching the laundry go round and round curiously.

“I think it’s because she misses her mom.”

Oh. The question that has been itching at Donghyuck presents itself unceremoniously. “I hope you don’t mind me asking but… is her mom, like, around?”

Mark’s eyes shift from Cheonsa to Donghyuck, and they have that hint of sadness in them that Donghyuck sees in Mark’s eyes for the first time. It’s a different emotion from when he returned Cheonsa to Mark. He can’t quite put his tongue on it. “No… she left… almost a year ago, I think?”

Donghyuck swallows the lump on his throat. “I’m sorry.” He says under his breath, not really knowing how to respond at revelations like this. Donghyuck has lived a normal childhood, with two loving parents and three irritating younger siblings. So he really doesn’t know what to say at situations like this—more so with someone his age experiencing it.

“It’s okay.” Mark says with a sigh. “She said she wanted to be an actress, actually—she’s been training under some company… and then we had Cheonsa, we were high school sweethearts actually but… you don’t always have the mentality of a high school kid and sometimes things don’t work out.”

“She promised to visit her once a month, but it’s been so long—almost four months, I think? Since the last time she visited so that’s why Cheonsa’s been crying for the past few… months.”

“So you let her chase after her dreams?” Donghyuck asks wistfully.

Mark nods. “Yeah. I mean, we’re different people, I guess. She has her dream, I have my dream—I have a new dream.”

“And that is?”

Mark gets quiet for a moment and Donghyuck traces his gaze that lands on Cheonsa, who’s now busy attempting to open the washing machine door. Mark gets startled at that and stands up to take her back to their seats. It takes a little squabble between the duo, and Donghyuck can’t help but watch with a soft smile.

Mark had his dreams too, of course. Every teenager, every young adult has had a dream of changing the world once—but as Donghyuck watches Mark try to get Cheonsa to sit back with them, as he watches Mark deal with his daughter with every ounce of patience he has—Donghyuck realizes what Mark’s new dream is.

His new dream is Cheonsa.

◌

“I can’t believe you have a crush on a _daddy_.” Renjun helpfully comments once he’s finished retelling the story of how he met his neighbour’s father.

It’s the weekend after the laundromat incident with Mark and Cheonsa. It took Donghyuck a while before he finally had the guts to admit not only to himself, but to his friends as well, that he has a big fat crush on his next door neighbour.

They’re routinely spending the afternoon in Jaemin’s condominium. It’s fully furnished with a big living space and three bedrooms. What does Jaemin need three bedrooms for? Donghyuck doesn’t inquire, as long as they get to hang in his place freely, he won’t ask anything. He’s not saying that Jaemin is their richest friend, but that’s exactly what he’s saying.

Enough about rich friends. Donghyuck is in a dilemma here.

“Dude, he opened up about his past to me and if that isn’t flirting, I don’t know what is!” Donghyuck defends himself as he lies on the couch. He presses one of the throw pillows against his face and… screams.

Jeno sits on the couch’s armrest, massaging Donghyuck’s leg gently. “How old was he again?”

Donghyuck pries the pillow away from him and rests it on his chest as he stares at Jaemin’s white ceiling. “A year older. If I didn’t know he had a daughter, I would’ve made out with him in a party. That’s _how_ he looks like.”

Jaemin wolf whistles, making the other two laugh in unison. “Calm down, tiger.” Jaemin teases and Donghyuck raises his middle finger at the general direction of Jaemin’s voice.

“I think that you’re being overdramatic over this. So what if you have a crush on him? It’s just a crush.” Jaemin’s voice is coming closer, and his friends’ agreements come resounding.

Donghyuck sits up, shoulders slumped. “You’re right.” He says, but without much resolve to it. He catches Renjun sharing a look with Jeno as Jaemin plops on the couch next to him. “But you know me when I get a crush… it lasts for a _long_ time.”

Long. With emphasis. Donghyuck’s last crush lasted until last year, when he moved back to Hong Kong but Wong Yukhei is a topic that should never be brought up ever again. Just remembering all the chasing and stupidity and bending over Donghyuck did for him for seven years makes Donghyuck want to throw up. In fact, he actually feels like throwing up now.

He hates having to deal with feelings, and he hates how easily he gets affected by things, specifically by cute dads with cute daughters. When it comes to feelings, it’s either Donghyuck feels it all at once or feels nothing at all. He isn’t sure which one he prefers.

Jaemin puts an arm around his shoulders and gives him a firm squeeze. “There’s a party tonight, why don’t you come with us and get your mind off your neighbour a little bit? Or actually make out with someone instead of fantasizing of making out with someone?”

Jeno agrees, hopping down on Donghyuck’s other side and splaying his weight all over his lap. “Yeah, Donghyuck—it’s not the end of the world that you have a crush on him, breathe a little.”

Donghyuck looks at Jeno, then at Jaemin—then at Renjun sitting on the bean bag who opens his mouth to say something snarky but Donghyuck beats him to it. “Shut up, Renjun. I know I’m being dramatic over this, but I haven’t been that attracted to someone since you-know-who and I freaked out.” He stands up, causing Jeno to topple all the way to the floor. His call of pain gets ignored as every noise dies down quickly.

His friends share a meaningful silence, communicating through glances. “I’m just gonna be a party pooper if I go. You guys enjoy yourselves.” He says, this time with the resolve missing a moment ago.

Jaemin makes him sit back down. “If you need us, call Injun.”

Renjun protests. “Why me?!”

“It’s your turn to be the designated driver, me and Jeno plan to get shit-faced tonight!”

Jeno, from the floor, barks his agreement. “That’s right! Good luck, Injun.”

Donghyuck lets all his body weight fall against Jaemin, his arms crossed over his chest. “You guys are right anyway—” he says with a huff, trying his best to clear his thoughts of dark locks sticking up in every direction, “it’s just a crush.”

He goes home early because his friends decided to do pre-game shots at 6 PM and he’s really not in the mood to be drinking anything alcoholic. Although he did steal a can or two of Sprite from Jaemin’s fridge before escaping the mess they’re bound to be.

Making his way back to his room, his eyes dart to the white door next to his own and his heart begins to hammer in his chest.

He wonders if Mark and Cheonsa are home.

Donghyuck debates it, shifting on his heels and toes, if he should knock and check if they’re home or if that would be overstepping his boundaries as neighbour and newmade friend. He decides against it in the end, and heads into his own apartment.

If he thinks about it, it’s not really a big deal—his friends are right, it’s just a crush and he should at least enjoy the feeling of crushing conveniently on his neighbour that he sees everyday. It’s a good feeling, if he removes the anxious feeling of falling and tripping on his feet all over again for someone that won’t even reciprocate. What more Mark—who had a girlfriend and has a daughter. He’s setting himself up for trouble and yet he can’t seem to stop.

He’s changed into more comfortable clothing and set up his laptop for another study session, his ramyeon is ready and he’s munching on some dried seaweed when he hears the faint crying of Cheonsa—again.

This time, instead of the usual irritation and frustration from the familiar cries of the child, Donghyuck feels worry settle in his chest.

He stuffs his face with noodles as he sends Mark a text message. Yes, they exchanged numbers during the laundromat and have been exchanging text messages since. Nothing spicy though, Mark doesn’t have time to text. It’s mostly just Donghyuck sending him funny photos to liven up his day.

Mark doesn’t seem to mind.

**[ You ]**  
hey… didn’t mean to overhear but… everything good ?  
_6:45 PM_

 **[ Mark ]**  
Yeah, yeah. She’s just having one of her tantrums. Sorry, you must be studying.  
_6:46 PM_

 **[ You ]**  
no no no it’s fine!!!! just checking up on u guys  
_6:46 PM_

 **[ Mark ]**  
It’s fine, really. 😊  
_6:47 PM_

Then, Donghyuck hears a rather loud cry from Cheonsa and the faint syllables that sound like “Hyuckie!”

**[ You ]**  
is she calling for me ?  
_6:50 PM_

It takes a while before Mark replies.

**[ Mark ]**  
Yeah… But I know you’re busy, it’s okay. Just give me a minute to help her go to sleep okay?  
_7_ _:13 PM_

 **[ You ]**  
mark … i can … come over if you want  
_7:13 PM_

 **[ Mark ]**  
Are you sure?  
_7:14 PM_

 **[ You ]**  
i offered didn’t i??? and i practically raised 3 of my siblings,,, try me  
_7:14 PM_

 **[ Mark ]**  
Please and thank you.  
_7:19 PM_

Donghyuck gobbles up the rest of his ramyeon and heads to the apartment next door. He knocks for a few times before Mark is bounding up to the door and he looks a little bit dishevelled, a little bit awry but cute nonetheless. He only breaks eye contact when he feels Cheonsa crash land against his leg, hugging him as she wails into his joggers.

“Hyuckie!” Cheonsa cries, all sobs and snot included.

Mark lets Donghyuck in as he crouches down to scoop the child in his arms. Mark locks the door and Donghyuck welcomes himself into their place. It isn’t the first time he’s seen the interior of Mark’s apartment, but it’s the first time he actually stepped foot inside. But now, he’s too busy trying to appease the crying child in his arms to look around. Maybe next time.

“Did you miss oppa?” Donghyuck asks Cheonsa, rubbing a hand soothingly over her back. Cheonsa nods against his shoulders, sobbing into his t-shirt now. Mark’s picking up the mess in their apartment as Donghyuck walks inside, there’s a bit of a clutter with the clothes and toys.

“Sorry for the mess.” Mark apologizes as he gestures for Donghyuck to sit on the couch. But Donghyuck can’t say anything because his own dorm is as messy, minus the baby stuff, of course.

“It’s fine.” He says as he sits down on the couch and Cheonsa begins to quiet down on her sobs. She’s starting to breathe properly too, which is a relief. Mark excuses himself to the kitchen to get Donghyuck something to drink, or eat even.

Donghyuck takes this time to talk to the girl upon his arms. “Are we okay?” He asks Cheonsa, pulling away so he can look at her eyes. Her eyes are puffy with his tears and Donghyuck wipes them away from her cheeks with his thumb.

“Was appa annoying you again?” Donghyuck asks Cheonsa and the girl nods a little. He isn’t sure if he’s supposed to be saying this kind of vocabulary to Cheonsa. “Why? Did he fall asleep again?”

“No.” Cheonsa mutters shyly. “Cheonsa missed Hyuckie… Appa doesn’t want to call…” 

That hits Donghyuck right on a spot in his heart where it hurts the most. It tugs on his heartstrings, makes him feel like every bone in his system is melting just from the sheer cuteness of it all. Cheonsa missed him, but Mark was too shy to call him.

He can’t help the smile on his face, and from his periphery, he sees Mark come out from the kitchen. “I’m here now. Hyuckie’s going to stay, okay?”

He looks up from Cheonsa and the little dimples on her cheeks, to Mark who’s looking at him eyes blown wide behind his round-rimmed glasses. “You’ll stay?” Mark asks, bewildered almost.

Donghyuck gives him a warm smile and a resolute nod. “I will.”

◌

They work it out.

Mark has work from 12AM to 5AM during the weekdays. He goes home, looks after Cheonsa until he has to go to his classes at 1PM until 6PM. After that, he uses the remaining hours to spend time with Cheonsa and catch up a little on sleep. When he has his classes or when he has work, his older brother, Taeyong, who lives in an apartment building ten minutes away from Mark checks up on Cheonsa from time to time. But because he’s getting married soon, and he’s also going to be taking up another job to save up for the wedding, Mark’s going to need a little bit of help.

This is where Donghuck comes in.

Donghyuck absolutely hates himself, hence signing up for morning classes that begin at 8AM and ends at 12NN. But, miraculously, it seems like there’s a reason for him to take early morning classes for this semester. Because while Mark goes to his classes or to work, Donghyuck’s free to help take care of Cheonsa.

For the weekends, Mark doesn’t have work but he helps out at Taeil’s recording studio if he needs help, whoever Taeil is—Donghyuck doesn’t know—but Mark tells him he’s a good guy and sometimes he takes Cheonsa with him to the recording studio.

And of course, they deal with the awkwardness of Mark offering to pay him for the babysitting services (he doesn’t know when he became a babysitting service, but with all aspects factored in, he is essentially a babysitter). But Donghyuck tells him he just needs to stock up the fridge with fresh groceries then, he’s good.

Of course, he forgets to tell this to his friends.

“You’re not going to eat lunch today?” Jaemin asks when he tries to escape his death grip. Usually, after their shared class, they go out to eat or find solace in Jaemin’s cooking and apartment. But today, Donghyuck tells them he’s going back to his place.

“Uh…” Donghyuck looks at the three people looking at him with various levels of curiosity, a sheen of betrayal ghosting over their irises. His friends can be real dramatic sometimes. “I have a babysitting job.”

Renjun, whose gears seem to turn faster than his friends, gasps. “Fuck you, don’t tell me it’s the daddy’s child, isn’t it?”

In the second that Donghyuck takes to be flustered, Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin seem to have all understood each other and are now barraging him with multitude of questions.

“Did you suck his dick?! Did he suck your dick for you to serve him?” Jaemin accuses with his big eyes blown even wider. Donghyuck sputters at that, pushing Jaemin away by the shoulder.

“No! No he didn’t! No dicks were involved!”

“So what happened? You went on a date and now you’re—an instant dad?” Jeno pries even further but Donghyuck only shakes his head in response, ears bright red at the mention of being an instant dad.

“No!” He drags on the syllable with his denial, heart hammering in his chest at his friends’ intrusion. He should’ve told them sooner, but Donghyuck has always had the penchant of surprising himself with his forgetfulness. “It’s nothing like that at all! He needed help with his daughter—who’s really very lovely you know—”

“That’s the kid that kept you up at night.” Renjun cuts him off, reminding him.

“I know, I know—but I got to meet them and the laundromat thing happened, and this weekend Cheonsa—his daughter, was crying because she _missed_ me! She missed me! How can I say no to that?”

Jaemin laughs, unable to help it and Donghyuck glares at him through his fringe. “That’s grossly domestic, even I hate it.” That’s saying something, because Jaemin is grossly domestic and is the dictionary definition of the mom-friend.

“Don’t make it weird, you weirdos.” Donghyuck bites. “I’m just helping him out!”

“I demand to meet your mystery daddy.” Renjun proclaims very loudly and Donghyuck claps a hand against his mouth to shut him up.

“Please don’t ever say that again.”

“Jeno,” Jaemin turns to Jeno, “this guy is his neighbour, isn’t it?”

Jeno nods, raising a brow. “Yeah? What are you trying to say…”

Jaemin offers Donghyuck a shit-eating grin, and no matter how angelic Jaemin’s reputation may be, he knows that deep down, deep, deep inside of him, is the devil grinning at Donghyuck right now.

He feels himself pale. “I say! We go to his place now and _see_ him for ourselves! Those in favour, please say I!”

“I!”

“I!”

“ _Please_. Just kill me.”

He manages to send Mark a heads-up text and manages to beg his friends not to be weird when they meet Mark and Cheonsa. Jaemin’s excited, he’s always loved kids but Jeno and Renjun are a little bit worried that he may be digging his own grave. But Donghyuck tells them he knows what he’s doing, and he’s just being a good person, a good neighbour and most importantly, a good friend.

He gets that his friends are worried about him, but something about the father and daughter duo tells Donghyuck that this is all going to be fine. Everything is going to be okay.

“Promise no being weird okay? I’ll literally beat all of you up if you say anything about me having a crush on Mark.” Donghyuck half-whispers and half-threatens, his hand in a fist aimed at the three stooges standing right behind him.

Jeno nods, eyes closed and hand on his chest. “I solemnly swear.”

Then, Renjun continues his oath. “That we are up to no good.”

“Ugh,” Jaemin groans, “that’s a lovely reference but you’re such a fucking nerd, Renjun. Just go and knock, Donghyuck. We need to meet Cheonsa.”

Donghyuck knocks at the door softly, knowing that the doorbell surprises Cheonsa so they’ve come to an agreement to knock softly instead. Mark comes opening the door not long after. “Hi,”

He looks at Mark, gives an apologetic smile as he gestures at his friends. “Hi Mark… these are my friends… that wanted to meet you and Cheonsa—now that you’ve met him, it’s time for you guys to go.”

“Hi, I’m Renjun!” Renjun interjects, shoving his hand right between Mark and Donghyuck and pushing Donghyuck away with ease. Mark smiles at Renjun, looks a little bit lost but still amused as he shakes his hand.

“Hi, nice to meet you—sorry, I don’t think you can meet Cheonsa right now. She’s napping and I’m really really sorry I can’t accommodate you guys, I have a class to run to…” Mark sounds apologetic, brows creasing together in the middle of his forehead and eyes wide behind his round-rimmed glasses.

Jaemin has been suspiciously quiet, as well as Jeno. “It’s fine Mark, they’re just about to head to lunch anyway. Have fun at your class okay? I’ll take care of Cheonsa. Text you when she wakes up.”

“Thank you, Hyuckie! So much, thank you! I’ll make it up to you guys next time okay? I really have to run.” Mark lets the new nickname slip up and Donghyuck feels his ears heat up, his heart beat going on overdrive because he knows his friends will make fun of him.

Once Mark runs away and is out of earshot, Jaemin regains his voice again. “So… Hyuckie, I see… but anytime I try to call you any nickname you tell me to shove it up my ass?” Jaemin grabs Donghyuck’s shoulder and squeezes, with much pressure.

Donghyuck whines and tries to get it off of him. “It’s not him that gave me that nickname, it’s Cheonsa. She can’t pronounce syllables well yet and she called me Hyuckie instead of Donghyuck.” As he explains, his three friends are backing him into Mark’s apartment. He doesn’t know if he’s allowed to let them in, seeing as he’s only babysitting, but Mark has already met them—although only for a brief period of time so perhaps this is okay.

“Mark,” Jeno comments, rubbing his chin as he pretends to think, a mischievous glint to his crescent eyes. “He’s _cute_. I always thought your type were big burly men who look like they can break you in half if they wanted to. But Mark—he looks cute, soft—”

“Dork. He’s a dork, Donghyuck.” Renjun supplicates. “But I get the attraction, imagine seeing that with a child? Thirst trap material.”

“Oh my god,” Donghyuck half-shrieks as he realizes they’re inside Mark’s apartment now and Jaemin has closed the door behind them. “You did not just call Mark a thirst trap.”

“But I did.” Renjun teases and pokes a finger against his rib. Donghyuck shoves all of them away from him and makes a run for the couch.

In no time at all, his friends have piled on top of him—as if this is their own place too. He’s just glad Mark isn’t here to witness all this. “Guys please, I’m an adult. I can take care of myself and look—I’m even taking care of another baby. You don’t have to worry about me breaking my heart. If you get to know Mark, you’ll see he’s a really decent person. Kind of corny, but decent.”

Jaemin rests his head on Donghyuck’s shoulder as Jeno lies down on his lap, Renjun is lying down on Jaemin’s lap too. “We know… we just wish you told us these things sooner. We won’t judge you, we’re just here to help.”

He got him there. Donghyuck has the tendency to keep these kinds of things to himself, often feeling fear and embarrassment about liking another person—but he’s getting through it. “I know… and I’m sorry for not letting you guys know sooner. No more secrets from now on.”

Renjun holds out his hand. “That’s a promise?”

Donghyuck puts his on top of Renjun’s, then Jeno, then Jaemin. “That’s a promise.”

“Now,” Donghyuck grabs Renjun’s hand and stands up, causing Jeno to fall to the floor and Jaemin to lie on the couch where Donghyuck has been. “Can the three of you please go away before Cheonsa wakes up? I can’t afford to terrify her with three strangers in her house. Scram!”

◌

The first week of Donghyuck taking care of Cheonsa goes by with no hiccups. Sometimes he stays over for dinner. It’s one of those days.

They’ve got a routine down, somehow. Mark texts Donghyuck if he wants to stay over for dinner and Donghyuck checks the fridge, tells Mark to drop by the grocery for some missing ingredients. And when they meet in the kitchen, Donghyuck teaches Mark one of his recipes.

It’s oddly domestic, and it’s making him sick in the heart.

“Thank you for tonight, Donghyuck.” Mark says to him as they finish washing the dishes. Even _this_ is domestic, Mark washes the dishes and Donghyuck dries them. Mark has his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, an apron around his waist and his black hair in a little ponytail Cheonsa put them in before dinner.

He tries to quiet the butterflies in his stomach. “You don’t have to keep thanking me.” He says, slotting the last plate into the rack. “I do this because I like it, okay? I really like being around Cheonsa.”

Mark laughs a little, wiping his hands on his apron before leaning back against the counter. He’s still looking at Donghyuck and Donghyuck tries to maintain the eye contact. He’s gotten better at this, at least, being around Mark and not being nervous around him. He even makes fun of him now.

“Only Cheonsa?” There’s a newfound spark as Mark utters his question. Donghyuck feels it run from his spine to the tips of his toes.

“What do you mean?” He asks, bewildered and unblinking. His hand that slotted the plate into the rack hanging in mid-air now at his surprise. Is Mark flirting with him? Is _this_ flirting?

“Nothing.” The confidence that appeared is gone as quickly as it comes. Mark is a blubbering mess again, wiping down the already spotless counter as he fills the kitchen with his nervous laughter.

“You—geez… do you really have to ask that? Of course I like being around you too.” Donghyuck laughs, elbowing Mark on the rib which Mark tries to dodge but fails miserably.

They laugh over it for a while, savouring their alone time as Cheonsa has already been tucked into bed. This is their life now, tucking Cheonsa to bed just before Mark leaves for work and Donghyuck deals with his homework and readings.

In the in between of their busy schedules, Donghyuck gets to know Mark. He gets to know that his favourite colour is blue because it reminds him of how the sky looks during clear mornings. He gets to know that Mark is taking up business administration too in exchange of his music degree. 

They’re sitting in the living room now, watching a late night show as the sit on opposite ends of the couch. Donghyuck has long gotten over his initial politeness, not wanting to overstay his welcome but now, he knows that Mark wants him to stay.

Donghyuck laughs at a particularly funny skit and then catches Mark looking at him, staring at him even. He looks back at him with a brow raised and Mark turns away, biting down his smile. “Wow, what are you? In high school? Do you have something to say, Mr. Mark?”

Mark shakes his head, looks at him again and then speaks. “Your friends, what were their names? Jaemin, Jeno and—Renjun, was it?”

He almost forgot that Mark met his friends. Ever since he promised his friends that there would be no more secrets between them, they don’t seem to be asking too much about Mark. Donghyuck knows that they know he’ll open up if there’s something to tell. Donghyuck always keeps his promises. “Yeah, what about them?” Donghyuck asks, not paying attention to the show anymore.

The other shifts and their legs brush a little. Mark doesn’t move his leg away. “How long have you known them?”

This is a question Donghyuck never had to answer, no one’s really interested in him in any way, even more so as to how he met his friends and how long he has known them. Donghyuck hums absent-mindedly. “I’ve known Jeno since we were in diapers, Jaemin moved to our neighbourhood in middle school and we adopted Renjun in high school.”

“And now you guys are in the same university?”

He laughs. “Yeah, right? I was the first one that wanted to get in here and the three of them were pretty much undecided with their university choices—so they tried, and now I’m stuck with them for another four or so years.”

“That must be nice.” Mark says, looking at a spot over Donghyuck’s shoulder, he looks almost wistful, as if reminiscing.

“I guess so, I mean Jaemin makes really good food and I don’t always have to be the one cooking all the time.” He jabs his foot against Mark’s side, earning a complaint from the older.

“Hey! It’s not my fault you’re way better at cooking. And I’m learning, okay?”

“Of course you are, you’ve got yourself the best teacher.”

Mark smiles at him, one that pulls his cheeks up to reveal a very Cheonsa-like dimple on the apples of his cheeks. Donghyuck can’t help but return the smile. “How about you, where are your college friends?”

The expression on Mark’s face sours, his lips purse together and his eyes are downcast on his nailbeds. It’s a nervous habit that Donghyuck’s been noticing. Softly, almost carefully, Donghyuck reaches out to wrap nimble fingers around the diameter of Mark’s ankle, thumb brushing over the exposed skin. “Sorry—didn’t know that question was out of limit.”

When Mark doesn’t protest, Donghyuck continues his ministrations. “No, no… it’s fine, really. It’s my fault, I guess.” Mark’s not looking at his nails anymore, finds Donghyuck’s eyes again and he feels the air knock out of his lungs at how warm the browns of his eyes look. He tries to breathe again, thumb brushing over the same spot on his ankle again.

It helps to coax the story out of Mark. “When we… I had Cheonsa… everything… just… kind of fell apart… I pushed my friends away. Toxic, I know—please don’t give me shit for that.” He hears the crack in Mark’s voice, hears the regret that still gnaws at him up to this day. Donghyuck’s hand travels a little bit upwards, and squeezes.

Mark exhales. “So, I moved universities… moved places, switched to Business administration because that’s the last thing my friends would find themselves in… changed everything. I guess I thought they didn’t understand me, didn’t understand why I stayed with my ex because they had suspicions Cheonsa—” his voice breaks, but continues his story, “that Cheonsa wasn’t even _mine._ ”

Mark’s eyes are watering. “But I look at her—I look at Cheonsa and I _know_ … I know she’s mine, she’s my daughter.”

And then, Mark’s sniffling, wiping his nose with the back of his hand like a toddler. Donghyuck laughs to dissipate the tension, procures a tissue and reaches over to wipe Mark’s tears. “I don’t know how you have a baby when you’re such a baby yourself.”

Mark looks up at him through beady eyes, tear stained cheeks lift up into a giggle and he shoves Donghyuck by the chest just a little. It doesn’t hurt at all. “Hey! I’m not a baby, I’m older than you!”

“And look who’s wiping whose tears.” He teases, tosses the ball of tissue to Mark’s face and sits back down on his side of the couch when he realizes their proximity. His hand was pressed right in between Mark’s thighs, the other on the armrest behind Mark for leverage. He’s thankful he caught himself before it becomes awkward.

Mark takes the tissues and sneezes into it. “I’m a horrible person, not a baby. Babies aren’t horrible.”

He feels something clench at his heart as he hears Mark talk about himself like that. “You’re not horrible, sure—you’re flaky, but your friends are in the wrong too for assuming that about Cheonsa when she’s someone you love. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve good things or good people—or good friends.” Donghyuck smiles at him, reaches out a hand to pat his knee and as he’s about to retract it, Mark puts his own over Donghyuck’s, keeping it in place.

“Thank you, Donghyuck.” Mark mutters, barely audible over the sound of the long forgotten show. But Donghyuck doesn’t only hear it, he feels it—feels it sink through his skin, through his heart and through his very bones.

Something shifts in the air, as Mark holds his hand over his knee. It’s a welcome change, and for the first time in a while, Donghyuck is excited about change.

◌

Time goes fast when you’re having fun, Donghyuck concludes. He gets to meet Mark’s parents who came over from abroad to check up on him—at first he freaks out, because he wants to do a good impression on his parents but Mark assures him that he’s said nothing but lovely words about Donghyuck.

Meeting them is nerve-wracking, but when Mark’s mother sees him—her face lights up with the absolute fondness and pulls him in with the biggest smile on her face. She hugs him even tighter than his own mother does. Mark’s father is a little less expressive, but he has the same kind eyes as Mark and Cheonsa and he sees that it’s hereditary.

So now, it’s the weekend and they’ve taken Cheonsa under their wing. Not a day has passed when Mark and Donghyuck didn’t hang out, for Cheonsa reasons, but now that she’s with her grandparents, it feels a little bit awkward to spend time together without her.

He’s lying on his couch upside down, head lolling back as he waits the hours away. His Botany textbook is staring open at him, he should at least begin highlighting and actually studying but he can’t bring it in himself to. Then—there’s a knock at the door.

Donghyuck has never bolted this fast in his life he starts to feel dizzy. He stumbles when he opens the door and sees Mark looking surprised, catching him by the arms right before he falls. “Careful, tiger.”

“You did _not_ just say that.” He laughs, gathers himself back up along with the little dignity he has left. He tries not to look, but his eyes travel up and down Mark’s body. He’s dressed for work it seems, a little smart casual—but more casual than smart. “Where are you going?” He asks when he finally meets Mark’s eyes.

Mark swallows. “Work. To Taeil hyung’s studio… I didn’t know if you were doing something today but I thought—maybe you’d like going to the studio? It’s really cool, has a lot of music stuff and Taeil hyung has a lot of classic LP’s. I just remembered on the way because you like music—right?”

Music’s something Donghyuck mentioned to Mark in passing, not really expecting him to remember it because it’s not a huge part of Donghyuck’s life anymore—unlike Mark who still clings to music, even after all the shit going on in his life. “You remembered that?”

Mark nods, smile never leaving. “Yeah! But like, if you’re busy or—“ Mark looks over his shoulder and he knows he’s looking at his book splayed open on the floor, “or if you’re studying, it’s fine!”

“No.” Donghyuck cuts him off. “We’re going to the studio, and you’re showing me the music stuff. I want to see the music stuff.” He says with finality.

Taeil’s studio is in the in between of humble and outrageous, it has been such a long time since he stopped singing in exchange for science, but going into a place that looks like middle school Donghyuck’s biggest dreams. It’s a wild experience.

Mark leads him through the doors, giving a tour of everything. As they walk through the halls, Donghyuck stares in wonder at the interior of the building, there are LPs hanging on the walls, photos of who Donghyuck can assume as Taeil with different artists.

Mark pauses, causes Donghyuck to crash against his back. “Hey, what the hell goes on?”

Donghyuck tries to look at where Mark is looking, and his gaze is directed to a door right at the end of the hallway. He raises a brow at Mark and pokes him in the rib to get his attention, Mark jumps and looks at him.

“What’s in that room?”

Mark laughs, almost nervously. “Nothing, that’s the studio I work in mostly.”

Donghyuck pushes him forward, hands on his waist. “What are you waiting for? Go on, show me.”

Mark seems to hesitate for a minute before he gets over and pulls Donghyuck in by his wrist. “I don’t just… do _technical_ stuff.” Mark explains as he opens the door and Donghyuck has no choice but to follow. “I also write and compose songs, I get royalties if they become singles.”

Donghyuck’s stomach churns, in the best way. He wonders how Mark can do so much with so little time. He struggles having classes and while taking care of Cheonsa is a wanted stress, he still doesn’t understand how Mark can handle so much with so little time.

“So you’re a songwriter, composer?” Donghyuck asks as Mark leads him inside.

Mark laughs, his free hand comes to rub at his nape at his bashfulness. Donghyuck has learned early on that Mark is easy to fluster, and this, he uses to his full advantage. “Something like that, but part-time.”

The studio isn’t as big as the others, it’s more of like an extra room amidst the grandiose of the other rooms. But Donghyuck’s eyes quickly find the framed photo of Mark and Cheonsa by the control booth and he knows that this is something that’s entirely Mark’s. “Part-time, huh? But it’s like your little office.” Donghyuck says as he makes his way to the picture frame, picking it up with a grin.

Mark’s fiddling with his laptop and glances once at Donghyuck. “Come on, Hyuck.”

“You love music, and you’re earning money while doing it. Why don’t you do this full-time?” He asks, still looking at the photograph of Cheonsa and Mark. Cheonsa is a little bit younger here, and Mark looks even more so.

Mark hums under his breath, until a song starts to play. It’s unfamiliar to Donghyuck’s ears, and he guesses it’s one of Mark’s compositions. “The songs don’t always become a hit…” He mumbles. “And raising a child is well… very…”

Donghyuck interjects, suddenly feeling flushed all over. “Yeah, I get it. Stupid question—sorry.”

Mark laughs, louder this time. “No, stop. It’s not stupid. I really like—no, love music and if given the chance it’s something I want to do for real, forever.” He’s looking up at Donghyuck now, and Donghyuck finds his eyes easy to meet. “But yeah, you know—we gotta compromise. Life’s about compromise, Hyuck.”

Donghyuck nods, and it’s something he fully understands. Once upon a time, Donghyuck wanted to be an idol. But it’s a dream he doesn’t know he can realize, so he uses his mind instead of his heart, and here is struggling with finishing a two chaptered reading.

“Wanna hear something I’m working on?” Mark asks him, raises a brow as he does so.

“Sure, what do you have?”

Mark sits down on one of the swivel chairs, and pushes the other one near enough for Donghyuck to sit on. He wonders, if Mark usually lets people hear his works, if this is his way of seducing people because Donghyuck is hopelessly seduced already.

The song starts out with a slow bass, the beat of the drum booming in Donghyuck’s chest. Then, there’s Mark’s smooth vocals. Donghyuck closes his eyes, leans his head back on the rest of his chair and lets the song fill his entirety. Mark’s not the best singer, but he _can_ sing.

And then, it all ends—before the song even reaches the chorus and before Donghyuck can even internalize what the lyrics mean. “Wait,” he shoots up, looks at Mark with bewildered eyes, “is that—is that it? Where’s the chorus? The first verse is so good!”

The other laughs, rubbing his nose as he sniffs. “I can’t find a muse for the song, it seems.”

“Can you replay it? I wanna hear the lyrics again.”

Mark replays the song and Donghyuck finds its poetry rooting itself into his very veins. The song—it’s a love song, it talks about having someone that has the same dreams, the same interests—and although they may not have the same personalities, everything about them collides in perfect harmony.

The song ends again, Mark and Donghyuck looking at each other. “I used to sing, you know?”

Mark nods. “Yeah, why’d you stop?”

“I had to choose—don’t make fun of me but—at one point, I auditioned for an entertainment company when I was younger. But I had to study, my parents didn’t want an idol son that sings and dances.” Every single time Donghyuck tells this story, he can’t help but wonder about what could have been.

“That’s a valid dream.” Mark says. “In an alternate universe, you’re the bratty idol I’ll be making songs for.”

“Hey,” Donghyuck kicks him, but without much violence to it, “I’m not a brat.”

They fall into a little argument about who’s a brat and who’s not, until an idea lights up in Donghyuck’s mind like a lightbulb. “Mark,” he exhales, like a eureka moment.

“What?”

“What if… I sing your demo, the one you’ve been having trouble with, and maybe I dunno… write it along with you as we go?”

There is no hesitance in Mark’s voice when he says yes.

It happens naturally, Donghyuck enters the booth and everything else falls into place.

There is harmony where discord once stood, the words exchanged between them dissipated in the quiet space of Mark’s studio. Words turn into lyrics, lyrics turn into song. The beats of their hearts turn into melodies and melodies complete the song.

From the booth, Donghyuck smiles at Mark.

Later, when they’re done creating the song through a series of back and forth, of Mark asking Donghyuck to repeat the note again, of Donghyuck asking Mark if he can play it back for him—Mark informs Taeil that he finally has a song.

◌

Donghyuck believes in little miracles.

Little miracles involve his day being a little better than usual, a good hair day, his clothes not being wrinkly when he takes them out of his closet and an announcement that his classes have been cancelled for the day.

As miracles come, they come in many forms. Today, Donghyuck’s miracle comes in the form of Mark asking if he wants to come with them to the botanical gardens after he tells him the news of cancelled classes.

He says yes, of course he say yes. He’s finding it hard to say no to Mark.

Cheonsa has a cute bonnet on, complete with ribbons and butterflies decorating it all over. She still never forgets to bring her toy cars with her though.

Mark has prepared a picnic basket, and Donghyuck brings along a picnic blanket. He’s not unfamiliar to picnics, all thanks to Jaemin’s initiative. But this, with Cheonsa running ahead of them, with a blanket hanging over Donghyuck’s arm and a picnic basket in Mark’s hand—it feels domestic.

He loves it.

“Hyuckie oppa!” Cheonsa calls out to him, tugging at the sleeve of his shirt and Donghyuck pays her undivided attention. “What do you call that tree?”

Donghyuck has been teaching Cheonsa about botany, teaching her the parts of the tree and parts of a flower. Recently, she’s been very obsessed about learning the scientific names of trees. How Cheonsa goes from not knowing how to pronounce Donghyuck to perfectly enunciating _Magnus indica_ , he has no idea.

“The one with the pretty flowers is called plumeria.” Donghyuck explains, picking up a flower that has fallen from the nearby tree. He dusts it off, then tucks it right behind Cheonsa’s ear. “It’s real pretty, isn’t it?”

Cheonsa giggles, the flower tickling her ear. “Yeah! I like it!”

He’s been wanting to visit this Botanical Garden for a while now, learning that it’s a newly set-up attraction and he has a certain fondness for Botany over his other Biology courses. He can’t ask for better people to visit the garden with other than Mark and Cheonsa.

Mark and Donghyuck walk right behind Cheonsa, who’s having the time of her life chasing birds and butterflies. Donghyuck nudges Mark with his elbow, and Mark responds. They engage in a little back and forth, backs of their hands brushing together as they do so.

It’s so painfully cliched, and yet—

“Commit to it, coward.” Donghyuck threatens, brushes his hand against the back of Mark’s once again.

“Commit to what?” Mark asks, brow raised and side of his lips tugged up in a half-smile. He’s making him _say_ it, he’s making him _do_ it and Donghyuck gives in.

“To this.” In a strong bout of courage, Donghyuck holds Mark’s hand—fingers intertwined, and shoulder pressed to shoulder. “Go big or go home, Mr. Mark.”

Mark’s a spluttering mess when Donghyuck holds his hand, but he doesn’t retract it—and the way Mark squeezes his hand and tugs him a little bit closer makes the butterflies in Donghyuck’s stomach flutter. The real life butterflies in front of him right now has nothing on the butterflies in his stomach.

Donghyuck’s doesn’t remember the last time he held hands with someone in a sense different than what friendship entails. Sure, he holds Jeno’s and Renjun’s and Jaemin’s hands all the time—but with Mark, it’s different—it’s an entirely different experience and Donghyuck feels electricity travel from where he ends and where Mark begins.

Mark doesn’t seem to mind, he swings their hands together as they walk behind Cheonsa, the rhythm in their steps unchanging. They walk to the beat of their own hearts, every swing and movement synchronized.

It’s a feeling so new that Donghyuck can’t help but relish it—for fear that it may go away as soon as it has come to him. But Mark squeezes his hand tighter every time Donghyuck’s hold gets lax. It’s a silent agreement, a silent promise.

Donghyuck is entering unchartered territory, and yet he’s so _willing_ to explore new heights.

They find a spot underneath an oak tree, perfect for a shade. Cheonsa has worn herself out from running after the birds and the butterflies in the botanical garden. Mark’s tending to her as Donghyuck sets out their small picnic ensemble.

Cheonsa’s tired, splayed upon Mark’s chest as she finds solace in her father’s embrace. Donghyuck watches on carefully.

“She never gets this tired…” Donghyuck wonders out loud, handing Mark a plate of fruits and sandwiches.

Mark struggles a little with the food and Cheonsa, but he manages. Cheonsa’s breathing a little raggedly, but Donghyuck figures it’s just from all the running and jumping she’s done today. Mark wipes a streak of sweat that runs down the side of Cheonsa’s face, then wipes her sweaty back with a towel. “Yeah… she’s usually so full of energy. It’s weird.”

He’s worried now, eyebrows wrenching as he takes the spot next to Mark and Cheonsa, patting Cheonsa’s back as she snuggles into the crook of Mark’s neck. “She’s not allergic to pollen, is she?”

Mark shakes his head, pinning her hair away from her face with a strawberry hairpin Donghyuck bought for her. “No, she’s not allergic to anything as far as I know. She’s a healthy baby.”

Donghyuck’s brain goes on overdrive but comes up with nothing—if Mark says that Cheonsa is healthy, then who is he to diagnose her with something she doesn’t have? He’s not a medical student, after all.

They rest underneath the oak tree just like that, eating homemade food, with Cheonsa sleeping on Mark’s chest and Donghyuck singing to her.

◌

Exams have kicked Donghyuck’s ass.

Even the love of his life, Botany also contributed to the general feeling of sadness that looms over Donghyuck with the on set of exam season. He’s tired, he’s stressed, and he feels like crying to let that all out.

The Saturday evening has him cooped up in his bed. His morning has been spent taking exams after exams because apparently, the professors decided it would be good to take up a weekend to give him hell. But it’s alright, it has passed and now all he can do is wallow in self-pity.

Exams really do make him feel bad, no matter how much he studies, no matter how much he tries. He’ll always feel as if he’s not doing enough.

But Donghyuck, being Donghyuck, will never let anyone know that.

But perhaps Donghyuck wears his heart on his sleeve far more often than he thinks.

There’s a knock at his door, and Donghyuck wills his tears to go back into his tear ducts.

Mark is behind the door, that wide rectangle smile on his face and Donghyuck does his best to liven up his expression. It’s not hard to do when Mark is beaming at him with the power of a thousand megawatts. But the smile on Mark’s face falls, as he begins to find the remnants of sadness behind Donghyuck’s bright eyes.

It’s terrifying sometimes, how Mark sees through him easily. “Is everything alright, Hyuck?”

Hyuck sniffs. “It’s cool, Mark. What’s up?”

Mark narrows his eyes at him. “We were going to watch a movie, Cheonsa want to watch Frozen again but if you’re not up for a movie, it’s okay. We can just hang around.”

Of course, Mark won’t let Donghyuck out of sight, especially since he’s still suspicious about Donghyuck’s well-being. Donghyuck smiles to himself, stepping forward and closing his door behind him. “Sure, Mark. You know I miss Elsa, I will never say no to Frozen.”

Mark slots their hands together easily, making the short way to their apartment. It’s odd, how Donghyuck doesn’t mind this at all, how he’s crossing the thin line between friendship and something more with Mark just like this. He doesn’t want to freak out, and he’s convinced himself that this is nothing to freak out over. It’s just him and Mark. Him, and Mark—and Cheonsa in between. Donghyuck knows what he’s doing, and when he steps into Mark’s apartment with Cheonsa setting out pillows on the tiny blanket fort they’ve built in the middle of the living room, Donghyuck wonders why he ever decided to coop up in his room to cry about exams.

When he has them.

Cheonsa bounds up into his arms, and Donghyuck catches her. “I’m so glad you came!” She says, cups his face and peppers it with kisses. “Yay!”

It’s like this, how Donghyuck find his spot in the blanket fort, situated right next to Mark with Cheonsa in his lap. She’s singing along to every song with perfect pronunciation, acting out the sequences and putting on her best show. Donghyuck and Mark are a good audience, they cheer her on, claps for her and sings along when she asks them to.

But right after the movie’s finished, Cheonsa’s knocked out on Donghyuck’s chest, snoring softly. They tuck Cheonsa in bed, and return promptly to the living room where Mark chooses the next movie, Moana—of all things.

“So, you wanna talk about something?” Mark asks as the movie begins, he doesn’t know how it happens, but Mark has an arm over his shoulders, and Donghyuck’s leaning against him. It’s comforting, Donghyuck doesn’t ever want to let this go.

“Not really…” He mumbles, not wanting to burden Mark with what’s going on in him.

Mark’s fingers graze upon the skin on the back of his neck, it tickles slightly but Donghyuck doesn’t flinch. He lets Mark continue his ministrations, fingers now scratching at his scalp as he plays with his hair. His heart almost aches at how painfully domestic this is, everything that’s Donghyuck ever craved. “You can talk to me, Hyuck. I’m here for you, just as how you are here for me.”

Donghyuck shifts so that he’s eye to eye with Mark. Hand in hand, Donghyuck opens his mouth to speak and subsequently—opens his heart out for Mark. “My exams kicked me in the ass and you know I study really hard… you’ve seen me study but… I just don’t understand why I still don’t get the scores that I want? What am I doing wrong, Mark? Why is it always unsatisfactory no matter how much work I put into my studies?”

Mark’s massaging his scalp now and it sends a wave of comfort though Donghyuck’s tense nerves. Watching Frozen with Cheonsa and Mark have pushed these negative feelings to the back of his mind, but now that Mark has brought it up out in the open, Donghyuck’s afraid that everything might just come stumbling out in the open.

“Hyuck, look at me.” Mark’s voice is quiet, Moana’s singing about not being the perfect daughter and Cheonsa’s toy truck is nudging his butt. The setting is absolutely ridiculous, but Mark looks at him and it’s all Donghyuck can focus on. Mark’s hand on his, Mark’s eyes on his.

“The most important thing in life is the fact that you’re always doing your best.” Mark begins, drawing soft circles on the back of Donghyuck’s hand. “You study so well, you’re a good student, you’re a good son, Hyuck. I’m sure that you’re not failing your parents, I know that they are proud of you—no matter what your grades may be, or test scores may be—you’re good.”

“Ugh.” Donghyuck groans, head falling forward and resting upon Mark’s chest. He hears the consistent lub-dub of Mark’s heart, and tries not to think about his valves preventing the backflow or something—he focuses on the sound, that Mark is here and Mark is right. “Why do you always know what to say?”

The sound of Mark’s laugh resonates in his chest, and Donghyuck feels it vibrate against him. He shudders. “Because I know you, Donghyuck. I know it hasn’t been long—but I know you, and you know me. That’s just how it is.”

_I know you, and you know me. That’s just how it is._

“I hate writers. You have a way with words that just—knows how to get me, Mark. Why do you do this, Mark.” He juts his finger on Mark’s chest, frowning at him. Fake exasperation is evident in his voice, and Mark laughs at him, holding his wrist that’s prodding on his chest.

“I don’t have a way with words. I just know you.”

“You’re the worst.”

Mark and Donghyuck. Just like this, resting upon each other—Donghyuck doesn’t know when it happened or how it happened, but Mark has learned how to handle Donghyuck, just like how Donghyuck has learned how to handle Mark and Cheonsa. It’s a bit terrifying, because he’s never been this attached to someone—and now, he knows that there are feelings shared, it’s just a matter of recognizing them.

Donghyuck’s lying on Mark’s lap now, as Mark absent-mindedly plays with his fingers. Donghyuck wonders if they’re best friends, if they’re boyfriends, or if it’s something in between—but that’s not important now, they have all the time in the world to figure this out.

It’s quiet, and Donghyuck can’t take quiet—unless he’s sleeping.

“Mark, tell me a sadder story than me crying over my grades like a big nerd.”

Mark laughs. “Wha—are you serious?”

Donghyuck nods.

Mark seems to ponder for a moment, before his face lights up—then screws up again.

“I’m not sure if I should be telling you this…”

“You thinking about if you should tell me this is already a sign that you should tell me this, Mark.” He pokes at Mark’s stomach, and Mark nudges him away with a hearty laugh.

“Well. You remember my brother, Taeyong?” Donghyuck nods. “He… he was going to get married, he’s engaged—but he… um… he called the engagement off a week ago.”

“Oh. Wow.”

Now, Donghyuck wishes he hadn’t asked. But because Donghyuck is curious, because he wants to know why—he asks, “is it okay to ask what happened?”

Mark shrugs, picking at the carpet. “His fiancé realized he wasn’t in love with him anymore.”

Donghyuck pushes himself off Mark’s lap and sits, not fully digesting the information Mark has just laid down upon him. He’s only met Taeyong twice, and none of those times did Donghyuck ever think he’s the type for someone to fall out of love for. Taeyong’s caring, and beautiful, and everything anyone could ever wish for.

Marks speaks out to ease the confusion in Donghyuck’s expression. “But it was a good break-up, I think they both saw it coming.”

Mark’s retelling of Taeyong’s story just reminds Donghyuck of one of his biggest fears. Investing in someone for a long time, but they wake up one day realizing that they aren’t in love with you anymore. Donghyuck’s head falls back into Mark’s lap. “That’s so scary.”

Mark pokes at his cheek. “Why? Ever been in love, Hyuck?”

It’s teasing, and not meant to be serious at all but Donghyuck’s breath hitches at the mention of being in love.

He’s not sure if he has been in love, but he’s only had one romantic endeavour that had gone downhill and has been an overall shitty experience. Donghyuck runs a hand through his face and groans into his palms, Mark tenses.

“You don’t have to answer, if you don’t want to.”

Donghyuck cuts him off. “No, it’s fine. I’m bound to tell you anyway.”

Talking about Yukhei, it’s not that painful anymore—but he still has trouble getting the words out of his system. Perhaps talking about it will make it easier. He tries. “There’s this boy, way, way back. I liked him for seven years. I knew I liked him when I was 11. He’s my first kiss, my first—everything… I don’t know if it’s love, but it’s something akin to that.”

Mark listens intently. Donghyuck takes a moment to breathe, before he proceeds. “I don’t know if we were ever together, maybe we were? I’m not sure. It’s just… confusing, I guess. Neither of us really wanted to make a move or make it official. To think of it, he’s not… not a bad guy. Just bad circumstances, I guess. We were young.”

“So yeah, I really liked him. But maybe he just doesn’t like me as much as I like him. He grew out of me, we grew out of each other technically—but I… my feelings for him never really like, waned, or something. Until last year, when I started to get a grip.”

“He moved to Hong Kong for university and I was… so, so devastated. Because he never told me. I thought, because we shared those memories, maybe I deserved to know, right?”

“But I guess I didn’t. That was it, I think. It’s cool now though, I don’t think of him anymore.”

Mark smiles slowly, softly. Its leaves a glimmer of something in Donghyuck’s chest. “I’m glad you told me about this.”

“Well you asked—so now you know my tragic backstory and fear of abandonment. _Great_.”

The older squeezes his cheek and Donghyuck swats it away. “But you’ve moved on from him, now? Fully?”

Donghyuck stares up at Mark, and Mark looks back at him with the same amount of intensity. He’s holding his breath now, and he doesn’t want to think about how close they are—that if Mark just leans down just a little bit more, their lips would meet in a searing kiss.

“I have.”

It’s slow, almost painful, the drag of Mark’s head down, down—lower, until the tips of their noses are brushing—until he feels the ghost of Mark’s lips on his own. Donghyuck is unmoving underneath Mark, hands clasped together at his chest.

They’re almost kissing, and there’s the hint of a smile in Mark’s lips—and then—

Cheonsa cries. 

Mark laughs and bumps foreheads with Donghyuck, before they’re scrambling to their feet to attend to Cheonsa’s needs, whatever they may be.

Donghyuck is giddy, smiling to himself as they make their way to their room but the smile is soon erased from his face when he sees what’s going on with the toddler.

She’s clutching her chest, other hand reaching out to Mark who almost trips while running to his daughter’s side.

“Appa—I can’t breathe.”

◌

It’s asthma.

According to Mark, Cheonsa has never had an asthma attack before. He doesn’t even know that Cheonsa has asthma. The doctor explains that sometimes, it’s hard to notice the symptoms with younger children and appears this abruptly and frankly, this bad. They’re in the emergency room, with Cheonsa fast asleep on one of the hospital beds, oxygen mask to help her even her breathing.

Mark’s clutching on to her hand, sitting next to her, hand in his arm. Donghyuck stands behind him, a comforting hand on his neck as he massages him gently. He knows there’s no words that can comfort Mark right now, and he doesn’t know what to say—but he remains there, next to him—just as how Mark is always next to him.

The curtain around them parts and Donghyuck turns around to see who it is.

“Cheonsa. How is she?”

She’s beautiful. With long hair and dark eyes, fair skin and red lips. She looks like an actress—then it clicks.

The way she resembles Cheonsa where Mark doesn’t, where Cheonsa gets the softness of her cheeks and the subtle arch of her brows.

Mark’s ex-girlfriend. Cheonsa’s mother.

She’s next to Mark, suddenly, sitting at the edge of the bed and pressing a kiss to Cheonsa’s forehead. Donghyuck vaguely remembers Mark making phone calls in the rush of it all. It hits him then, with her cradling Cheonsa, with Mark holding her hand—apologetic. This is their family. And as much as he wants to be here, he feels out of place.

Donghyuck exits through the curtain she entered through once they start talking. He catches a glimpse of Mark hugging her, head buried against her chest and it almost paints the picture-perfect family. Donghyuck feels selfish, for thinking about his stupid feelings when Cheonsa’s on a hospital bed attached to an oxygen tank.

He sits outside the emergency room, sits by the chair and buries his face in his hands. His brain is going on overdrive, Mark’s ex-girlfriend is back, and they’re going to take care of Cheonsa—and no matter how much he cares about Cheonsa and about Mark, he’s not needed here anymore. Mark has her, and she has him. They have each other.

Donghyuck’s heard about the concept of family preservation, and there is no better timing than this for them to get back together. It’s not too late for Mark to realize that he wants to give his daughter a relatively normal childhood with a complete family, with a mother and a father.

“Donghyuck?” Taeyong’s voice comes into his field, and Donghyuck looks up from his feet to Taeyong, giving the older a wry smile. He notices the paper bag he holds close to his chest, and almost instinctively do his eyes dart to his left ring finger—no ring.

“Hi hyung,” Donghyuck greets him, smoothing his face out with a palm, pushing his hair back with the same hand. “They’re in the emergency room, Cheonsa’s mom’s here.” He says as he stands up, gesturing to the door to the emergency room.

Taeyong rests the paper bag upon his hip and raises his brow. “And why are you here outside all alone?”

Donghyuck shrugs. “I was giving them privacy.”

“You’re family too, so come back inside with me.” Taeyong insists and walks forward to him, grabs his wrist with his free hand and Donghyuck is too stunned at the words _you’re family too_ to be able to react to it.

When they get inside, the curtains around them are drawn back and there are doctors talking to Mark and his ex-girlfriend about Cheonsa’s situation. Taeyong stands next to Mark, draping a comforting arm over him and Mark embraces him when he comes. Donghyuck stands behind Taeyong and Mark, across Cheonsa’s mom who’s still sitting next to the girl on the bed.

Donghyuck hears fragments of the conversation, about monitoring Cheonsa’s situation for a 24-hour period before she can get home, and the medication she needs to take and her biweekly check-ups following her release. In that moment, as Donghyuck looks at Cheonsa on the bed, with doctors standing around her and talking about her situation—Donghyuck forgets about his feelings for Mark for a second and he zeroes in on what’s important—on who’s important. _Cheonsa_.

The doctor’s gone before he knows it and silence befalls the small family around him. Mark looks at Donghyuck and gives him a tired smile, which Donghyuck promptly returns before realization dawns upon Mark.

“Oh!” Mark reaches out to Donghyuck and despite his panic, Donghyuck grabs onto Mark’s hand and lets Mark pull him to his side. “Yumi, this is Donghyuck—” Mark pauses and Donghyuck looks at him, brow raising. He feels a lump in his throat. “He’s been helping me take care of Cheonsa.”

Yumi smiles at him and gives him a gracious bow. “Thank you so much, Donghyuck.”

Donghyuck shakes his head, feels a little out of it as he introduces himself almost on autopilot. “It’s nothing—I wanted to help them, anyway.”

A flash of guilt flashes upon Yumi’s pretty features, her eyebrows screwing together as she squeezes Cheonsa’s hand.

Just at that moment, Donghyuck’s phone signals a text message. It’s from Jaemin, saying: “Emergency!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jeno emergency where are YOU!!!”

Donghyuck apologizes, explains that he has to rush somewhere (to Jeno, he says to Mark), and asks them to call him once Cheonsa wakes up. Mark lets him go with a worried look and he doesn’t miss the raise of Taeyong’s brow as he runs out of the hospital to another.

◌

It has turned out that Jeno’s cat allergy got to the point where he needed to be rushed to the hospital. The reason? Jeno and Renjun have been walking back home when a stray cat comes by them and tugs at Jeno’s heartstrings. Donghyuck thinks that Jeno believes the more he exposes himself to cats, the more he can tolerate them. He’s explained to Jeno time and time again that it’s not how things work and _yet_.

The doctors say that he suffered from bad anaphylaxis and if they have been a little late in rushing him to the hospital, he couldn’t have made it. It’s needless to say that Jeno is completely banned from any cats now.

And as for Donghyuck, he goes back to his routine pre-Mark.

He still talks with Mark through text sometimes, but because Cheonsa’s mother is present now to take care of her while Mark goes to work, Donghyuck doesn’t see any point in conversing with Mark constantly. And, his feelings for Mark absolutely has no bearings on his actions at all.

He shouldn’t have been so stupid, Donghyuck thinks. Mark has never told him anything explicitly, and he should have known better than to assume—than to get himself tangled in Mark. But here he is, hopelessly stuck-up on Mark. He knows he shouldn’t be so unfair to Mark but Donghyuck has always been clumsy when dealing with feelings and now he’s suffering again because of it.

He gives Mark breathing time, gives himself breathing time, gives everyone around him breathing time. Donghyuck goes back to his routine, studies until the dawn and binge watches Netflix if he has free time.

His friends begin to notice this.

“No Mark and Cheonsa today?” Jaemin asks, coming into his living room with boxes of pizza.

“Who invited you over?” Donghyuck responds with another question, looking up from his Botany text book with a scowl at his intruding friend.

Jaemin doesn’t even to seem to notice his frown as he continues to walk to his kitchen, serve two slices of pizza on the plate and walk back over to Donghyuck on the living room floor. “Uh. Renjun? He said we’ll meet here in fifteen so I brought pizza to make sure everyone has had dinner.”

“And why wasn’t I informed of this?”

“If you checked your phone and stopped slaving over your studies then you would know.” Jaemin says as he leans back on the couch, reaching his foot over to close Donghyuck’s book to which he grimaces at.

Donghyuck lets Jaemin does whatever he wants and checks his phone. There are multitudes of messages from Renjun all in what seems to be of him in panic and telling everyone to gather over at Donghyuck’s (without Donghyuck’s permission, too).

And just like they have talked about in their chat, Renjun and Jeno come arriving no less than two minutes later.

Donghyuck interrogates them why they’re all here, especially Renjun who called this meeting over. But Renjun insists that they all eat first before they go and discuss the predicament. Whatever that may be.

They eat the pizza, catch up on some gossip where Donghyuck avoids talking about Mark. Then, finally, after Donghyuck snatches the last slice of pizza from the box, Renjun begins to speak.

“Actually, Donghyuck—the reason why I called everyone over to your place is because the issue at hand is a Donghyuck issue.” Renjun explains, punctuating his sentence with a burp.

Jaemin laughs, Jeno cringes and Donghyuck speaks through his pizza crust. “And what issue is this?”

Donghyuck has an inkling that this might just be one of Renjun’s too-dramatic announcements, so he doesn’t brace himself for whatever Renjun might say. He expects the lightest things to be amplified if it’s Renjun speaking, honestly. They are the group’s drama queens after all.

“How do you want me to lay it down on you?”

“Fast and hard, please.”

“That doesn’t sound right.” Jaemin interjects. Jeno snorts.

“Word is, Yukhei is coming back tomorrow. He’s friends with the Chinese kids I hang with sometimes, so they say that he might be over the campus. Just wanted to give you a heads-up.”

There’s a clamor from Jeno and Jaemin, but everything around Donghyuck silences when he hears those words come out of Renjun’s mouth. His brain goes on overdrive, the memories filled with Yukhei coming back to him in an instant—and the memory of him telling Mark about Yukhei floods everything else.

Then, the overdrive stops.

Donghyuck shrugs and leans back on the couch. “I don’t care.”

“Really?” Renjun asks, unable to mask the surprise in his voice. “I thought you would, that’s why I was all panicky.”

Donghyuck laughs. “I appreciate your effort really,” he smiles, looks at his friends and feels the lightness of his heart when talking about Yukhei. It doesn’t hurt anymore, he’s no longer bitter, he’s no longer afraid of what hurt him. “I’ve moved on.”

“Wow,” Jeno quips, “the Mark effect?”

Jaemin and Renjun throw Jeno a glance, but even the mention of Mark doesn’t have Donghyuck tensing up anymore. What he had—or has, if ever, with Mark has helped him move on from Yukhei, they’ve helped him become happier, helped to be better.

“It’s okay, you guys.” He says, tugging Jeno closer with an arm looped around his shoulders. “I’m a big boy, I don’t get hurt by these things—it’s okay to talk about them now.”

Renjun’s eyebrows screws, the unscrews as his feature soften in understanding. “You sure? We just wanna look out for you.”

“Definitely. I promise. And don’t worry about Mark, I’m just… trying to figure things out. Just wanna see how things go, you know? Don’t worry too much about me, I’m fine.”

“You sure?”

“Promise.”

◌

Sometimes, Donghyuck can’t help but wonder if he’s living a cliché.

He’s not quite ready to meet Mark yet, what with everything that has happened and what with everything that he’s realized about his relationship with Mark. So even as Mark tries to contact him, Donghyuck doesn’t respond—or if he does, he responds rather dryly. If Mark can’t come to meet him in person when they live next to each other, then perhaps it’s not meant to be.

Just as Donghyuck replies to Mark’s latest text message with a simple emoji, someone bumps against his back on the line in the coffee shop.

“Hey!” He blurts as he turns around to face the stranger, but what meets with his eyes is someone very—and far too familiar for his own liking.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry—oh… Donghyuck?”

A year ago, if Donghyuck finds himself in this situation, perhaps he will react entirely different. But now, Donghyuck smiles at Yukhei, who looks at him with wide eyes and a smile so unsure it almost looks funny. Yukhei, the one person Donghyuck knows to be always confident, has greeted with uncertainty.

“Yukhei,” he greets, smiles, “fancy seeing you here.”

“Yeah,” Yukhei’s staring at him now, almost as if he can’t believe it. “Donghyuck—wow… it’s been… how long?”

“Not sure, maybe more than a year?”

Yukhei pauses and he purses his lips, just like how he always does when he’s thinking. Donghyuck’s feelings towards Yukhei sits in the between of the spectrum. He’s neither hostile nor fond towards him—he’s civil, and that’s all that matters in this personal battle.

“Are you free today? Do you want to hangout?” Yukhei finally speaks.

Donghyuck thinks back to his friends, who are waiting for him to get their coffee, and he thinks back to high school when he’d say yes in a heartbeat and drop everything, even his friends for Yukhei. But that feels like eons ago, and Donghyuck has grown to learn quite a lot in the process.

He shakes his head no, juts his thumb back at the counter as the line begins to move. “Can’t. Friends asked me to get their coffee so I have to run back to them after this. It’s nice seeing you around though.” He says and reaches out to clap a hand against Yukhei’s arm. “I’m happy you’re alright.”

Yukhei nods and glances at the hand on his arm. He returns the smile Donghyuck offers. They’re okay. “Me too… I’m happy you’re alright.”

The line begins to move, and Donghyuck is proud of himself for holding a conversation with Yukhei. They catch up a little like old friends, and Donghyuck isn’t closing his doors to being friends with Yukhei. He’s not an asshole, and he’s done bad things to him—but they had been immature and young then, things and people change. Change is okay.

Yukhei gives him his new number, and Donghyuck does too. They make vague plans and then Donghyuck exits after he receives his order. Donghyuck waves him goodbye.

On his way back to Jaemin’s place to deliver the coffee, Donghyuck thinks back to his first words to Yukhei. It was a simple greeting, an opening of a conversation—yet it feels as if it’s the closure Donghyuck has been waiting for.

◌

“I think you should come and go out with us tonight—as a celebration.” Renjun suggests after Donghyuck tells them of how he met Yukhei, and everything he’s felt during and after.

Jeno agrees. “Yeah! It’s been so long since the four of us went out altogether.”

“You got too busy co-parenting.” Jaemin teases, nudging Donghyuck on the shoulder.

Donghyuck furrows his brows as he thinks about it. Even though his friends are only joking, he knows that there is a semblance of truth underneath all that. He hasn’t been spending time with them lately, and maybe just a little bit of alcohol and dancing is what he needs.

“Sure. Let’s do it.”

It takes no time at all before they all get ready. It takes even shorter time before they arrive to the club.

Donghyuck has been far used to quiet weekends with Mark and Cheonsa, spending the day just lazing around at Mark’s apartment entertaining the child. He has never imagined himself to be one for domesticity and all it entails, but as the flashing lights and the deafening music welcome Donghyuck into the scene he has forgotten for quite a while, he can’t help but miss the quiet.

But his friends are all around him with the promise to get drunk, to celebrate the success of his moving on story and to move forward to the next chapter of his life. He hasn’t told his friends explicitly about the Mark situation, and he’s half-sure that the little push of alcohol might help.

“Come on!” Renjun’s pulling him through the crowd and to the bar, with Jeno and Jaemin right in tow behind him.

They take shots once they reach the bar, and that’s enough to get Jaemin to ask Renjun to dance with him. Renjun hesitates at first, clinging to Donghyuck and looking to Jeno for salvation but Donghyuck quickly orders them another glass of margarita and urges Renjun to go dance.

Jeno laughs as they watch Renjun and Jaemin escape to the dance floor, agreeing to meet with them in the middle in a little while later. Donghyuck drinks and so does Jeno, feeling slightly buzzed already.

“So,” Jeno begins, a smile playing on Cheshire lips. Jeno is usually more timid than everyone, but Donghyuck finds that it’s Jeno that gives him the most attention, the one that observes the details Donghyuck thinks aren’t important. “What happened with you and Mark?”

Donghyuck laughs as he feels sweat trickle down the back of his neck. “What do you mean?”

Jeno raises a brow. “You know what I mean.”

“Nothing happened!”

“Donghyuck, I’ve known you since you were born. You don’t think you can lie to me?”

Donghyuck looks at Jeno, his eyes up in their crescent smiles. “I like him. I really like him, Jeno.” He admits, unable to lie or hold it in any longer. Maybe it’s the alcohol, but maybe it’s because of the trust he puts onto Jeno—onto his friends.

“And what’s the problem now? Surely it’s not the baby isn’t it?”

Donghyuck shakes his head. “No! I love Cheonsa, she’s the loveliest baby ever. The night you had an allergic reaction, we rushed Cheonsa to the hospital because she had an asthma attack. We didn’t know she had asthma.”

Jeno hides his gasp behind his glass of alcohol. “What happened? Is she okay?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck responds, and he’s hit with a pang in his chest. He misses Cheonsa. “The doctors said she’ll be fine, gave her medicine and stuff.”

“Hyuck,” Jeno interrupts, “what happened?”

Donghyuck swallows hard, and it’s hard to verbally admit that he’s felt pushed aside and as if he no longer has a role in their life now that Cheonsa’s mother is around. “Her mother… she came back and now she’s taking care of her. I’m only around to take care of Cheonsa, you know? Now that she’s back and… doing what she’s supposed to be doing… it’s not hard to think about them preserving their family first and foremost.”

Jeno finishes his drink, throwing his head back. “And have you talked to Mark after that?”

“Just on text. I can’t face him yet.”

“Why though?”

“It’s embarrassing! How can I tell him that I feel—ugh, jealous over his ex-girlfriend and the mother of his child when I’m just Cheonsa’s babysitter?”

“But he didn’t make you feel like just a babysitter. Right?”

Donghyuck pauses. “Yeah.”

“So? I don’t see the problem if he’s broken up with her and he has expressed interest in you. It’s not like you’re homewrecking them, nothing’s wrong about finding love again after a break up. Baby or no baby.”

“But I also have to think of Cheonsa, Jeno. If I force my way to Mark, while her mom’s there, what if I ruin what they have going? What if they want to get back together? What if they’re meant to be? What if they’re going get ma—”

“Hyuck!” Jeno laughs, a hand on his knee. “Breathe!”

Donghyuck feels his vision spin a little then he focuses on Jeno.

“You don’t know that yet. You have to talk to him, okay? The only way for you to stop worrying like this is if you talk to him. He looks like he can’t hurt a fly. And so what if everything you’re worried about is right? You can move on. You know that. You’re more than capable of getting up on your own feet again.”

“Jeno,” he breathes out, kicking Jeno’s shin from where’s seated, “sometimes I hate it when you’re right. Go get drunk!”

Jeno shakes his head at him. “Listen to me sometimes, yeah?”

Donghyuck asks the bartender for shots again, and this time, he hands them to Jeno. “I listen to you all the time. So listen to me this once, and let’s get drunk.”

Jeno dances in front of him, all silly and enjoying himself. Donghyuck feels his own sweat trickle down his neck as he dances along with him. He has never felt freer than in this moment right now, with Jeno knowing the story about Mark and with knowing that it’ll be easier to tell this to Jaemin and Renjun.

The song is in fast progression, dying as it reaches its last drop. But it doesn’t stop—instead, it transitions to another. A familiar beat that he has heard in a booth somewhere. The song welcomes its first verse and realization hits Donghyuck.

It’s Mark’s song.

The song he helped Mark create, the song he helped Mark finish, the song he sang for Mark in that recording booth. The song that started the avalanche of change between him and Mark.

It’s a different singer, someone Donghyuck doesn’t know enough to recognize. He sings it differently than Donghyuck does but he can’t judge as he’s an amateur. But the lyrics all bring him back to a time when there he is with Mark, and Mark is there with him.

Jeno notices his sudden silence. “Donghyuck,” he catches his attention, waving hand at his face with wide eyes, “are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Donghyuck swallows thickly. “I’m okay, I just need to get some water, I think. I’ll be back.”

At that, Donghyuck walks away from Jeno and finds space.

The song continues to blare, the beats of the chorus drops with every step Donghyuck takes. All the memories come flooding back to him, all the feelings he’s tried to repress in the days he attempted to ignore Mark but fail are all washing over him in overwhelming waves.

Donghyuck finds an empty chair by the bar and asks the bartender for some water. He slumps, the song’s chorus and Mark’s lyrics echoing in his brain.

Discord displaces Donghyuck from his being, his mind fuddled and his insides whirring at the realization that hits him square in the face like a good punch. He is _in love_ with Mark.

And, like every good scientist, Donghyuck tries to rationalize this even through the haze of his shots, margarita and his flooding feelings for a certain Mark Lee. This is how he feels grounded, how he reminds himself that this is all real.

Evidence one: he likes being around him. Not in the same way he likes being around his friends, but he likes being around Mark in the way that he thinks he can do it forever. He’s used to the noisy weekends, the spending time with his friends. He’s only 19, and yet he feels as if being around Mark silently, or even loudly at times, is all he ever wants to do.

Evidence two: Mark knows him. It scares him, in a good way, how Mark seems to know him better than he knows himself—how Donghyuck doesn’t like wearing his heart on his sleeve but Mark reads through him easily that he doesn’t have to wear his emotions out for him to be understood. Mark understands him, just as how he understands Mark.

Evidence three: _Cheonsa_. When it comes to loving Mark, Cheonsa is always involved. They’re a package, the one always comes with the other and Donghyuck has been well aware of this since the beginning. It’s never been a problem, instead, Cheonsa is someone that has helped him love Mark too. Instead, he has loved Cheonsa too.

The song has come to its ending now, Donghyuck has had three glasses of water and it feels like he has had the realization of the lifetime. He is in love with Mark—and the presence of Cheonsa’s mother won’t change the fact—and if he isn’t reading into things wrong this whole time, he has all the confidence to believe that Mark might feel the same too.

Donghyuck feels a buzz from his pocket, and his heart grows ten times in sight at the name.

**[ Mark ]**  
Hey Hyuck. How are you?  
_11:44PM_

Cheonsa really misses you. Went over to your apartment but you weren’t there?  
_11:45PM_

In a bout of odd courage and the stinging feeling of missing Mark and Cheonsa, Donghyuck replies with a lazy smile.

**[ You ]**  
Only Cheonsa misses me?  
_11:47PM_

 **[ Mark ]**  
No.  
_11:47PM_

I…  
_11:47PM_

I miss you too.  
_11:48PM_

◌

When Donghyuck wakes up, he can’t remember anything.

What he remembers is going out with his friends last night, but he doesn’t remember how he got home. The place he wakes up in his familiar, the curtains, the bed—he’s in Jaemin’s apartment. They must have crashed here last night.

When he looks around though, he can’t see his friends and he has a blaring headache and an onset of a really bad hangover. Donghyuck kind of regrets drinking so much last night.

He turns around, away from where the sunlight filters through the curtains and covers his eyes with the blanket, trying to backtrack what occurred prior to getting back to Jaemin’s apartment.

Donghyuck remembers drinking, remembers talking to Jeno, remembers hearing Mark’s song in the club, remembers getting a text from Mark but he doesn’t remember what else occurred after that. So the next best thing that Donghyuck thinks of is to look for his phone.

But he’s been rummaging around the bedroom for a few minutes now with little to no success. So Donghyuck exits the room, eyes bleary and sees his friends passed out on the living room couch. He has no idea why the three of them are clumped together in positions that can’t be possibly comfortable and why he’s the only one sleeping in a bedroom.

He nudges Jaemin, who’s lower half is dangling off the couch with Renjun’s torso the only thing holding him up but there’s no response. He tries to do the same with Jeno and Renjun, but they just turn around away from him and continue sleeping.

Donghyuck grumbles, annoyed and his throat dry so he makes his way for the kitchen to gargle and get some water. It’s only now that he noticed his puffy eyes and his same going out clothes. He’s usually cleaner than this when he drinks, so he wonders what could have happened that his sober brain decided it’s best for him to forget that part of the night.

Donghyuck walks back to the living room, his glass of water in hand as he stretches tense joints. He wonders if he can make breakfast for his hungover friends, but there’s a ring at the doorbell and that effectively jostles the three of them awake.

Donghyuck, being the only one who’s properly awake to answer the door, lets his friends gather themselves as he walks over to the door to check who it is.

“Sorry, Jaemin’s still—”

Donghyuck almost drops his water at what—or rather, who he sees behind the door. There’s Mark, with a guitar in his hands, looking like he stayed up all night.

“Mark.” He breathes out, confused, and suddenly conscious of the mess that is his hair and his entire get-up. “What are you doing here?”

“Can you just listen to me first? Before anything—”

Donghyuck bites his tongue, trying to help the smile that’s trying to break at the sight of Mark like this so early in the morning. “Okay.”

What Mark does next, Donghyuck doesn’t expect. Or maybe he did, what with the guitar and everything but never in his wildest dreams did he imagine for this to actually happen. It just seems so corny, and absurd to him to even think of this—but right now, it’s his reality.

Mark is serenading him. It’s a song he’s never heard of before, but the lyrics are already familiar enough for Donghyuck to know it’s one of the songs Mark has worked on.

Mark strums the guitar, sings softly and Donghyuck has to hold the door frame for his knees that are going weak at the absolute romance of it all. The song goes like this, and Donghyuck listens.

 _Because you’re in my heart_  
_My melody is natural_  
_My dreams were possible through you_  
_I want to fulfill them all with you_

There’s jostling behind him, and he knows those footsteps enough for him to know that his friends are awake and are walking up behind him but Donghyuck is far too caught up in Mark’s gaze for him to even turn around and be embarrassed at the grand act Mark is pulling. It’s so painfully cheesy, and yet it makes Donghyuck’s heart burst at the seams to hear Mark sing words he has written for him.

 _I’m not alone, I’m with you_  
_When I needed someone, you came to me_  
_Even in the ordinary, I celebrate your preciousness_

He hears Renjun gasp from behind him, Jaemin telling Jeno to take a video but he doesn’t care, and Mark doesn’t either. They’re lost in their own world even as the world makes a commotion around them. Donghyuck feels the song translate their story, and he almost wants to kiss Mark square in the mouth for the effort.

But almost. Surely, his friends won’t let him live it down if he sucks face with Mark in front of them. He still has some semblance of self-control.

_Streets shining with candles, even the lights are so special  
Always stay by my side_

Mark clears his throat as he strums the last chord, giggling when the strings finish in an uneven rhythm. “Am I forgiven?”

Donghyuck, overwhelmed, shocked and pleased all at the same time—asks with blown eyes. “What are you saying sorry for?”

Mark blinks, chews on the inside of his cheeks and inhales. He looks really apologetic. “For making you cry last night.”

“What?”

As it turns out, Donghyuck got drunker last night after Mark’s text messages to the point of drunk calling Mark. When Donghyuck gets his phone back from Jaemin, he sees the three-hour long phone call he had with Mark and he cannot remember any of it. Thankfully, or rather, to Donghyuck’s horror, Mark helps him remember.

They’re seated around Jaemin’s kitchen table, with some kimbap from the fridge and cold milk. Jaemin wanted to make breakfast, but Donghyuck shooed them away to Jaemin’s room as quickly as he can because he doesn’t want them eavesdropping on this conversation.

“So,” Mark begins, toying at the wrap of the kimbap, “where do you want to start?”

Donghyuck stuffs his face with the rice ball and swallows. “From the moment I called you. What did I say?”

Mark smiles to himself, biting into the rice ball. “First, you said you missed me so much you could die. Honestly, you words were more… descriptive than that. And you told me you wished that Yumi didn’t come back so everything can go back to normal.”

“Oh god,” Donghyuck groans, dropping the rice ball onto the table and covering his face with his hands, “that’s so messy—I don’t really mean that oh my god… I like Yumi, she’s great! Oh no Mark… I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Mark laughs, “you’re drunk and I understand why you didn’t like her… apparently, the truth is… her company held her back from communicating with us or even coming to visit when they learned she has a daughter. They say it’ll be bad for her image so she sneaked out of their dorms when Cheonsa got hospitalized.”

Guilt, dread and regret all settle in the pit of Donghyuck’s stomach. The kimbap seems to be finding its way back up now. “Sorry,” he mumbles, unable to say anything other than that, bowing his head in shame, “that’s… that’s really unfortunate. Is she coming back to the company?”

Mark nods. “It’s her dream, after all. And she’s debuting in a new drama in a month. I think?”

Donghyuck feels his gut wrench at that—at what Yumi has to stomach in order to pursue her dream. She’s Cheonsa’s mother, and he knows it must be hard for her too. Donghyuck takes a sip of his milk. “So… does she know you’re here?”

Mark smiles, a blush creeping up his high cheekbones. “She does, she even urged me to go after you.”

“Oh…? I thought you guys…” Donghyuck begins to speak, but his words fall flat in the middle, not finding enough courage in himself to verbalize his embarrassing thoughts.

“What?” Mark coaxes, leaning forward onto his elbows on the table, causing his hand to slide forward just enough for their knuckles to brush. Donghyuck doesn’t pull away.

“I thought that when she came back… you would want to get back together to raise Cheonsa. Family preservation and all that?” Now that he’s sober, even with a blaring headache, Donghyuck can’t believe how stupid he sounds for saying that, especially when Mark looks at him with the expression of confusion and hurt and surprise all at once.

Mark inhales. “Donghyuck, I told you before… we broke up cleanly and that’s that. She wanted a new dream, and I have a new dream.” Mark braves the leap and holds Donghyuck’s hand in his. Donghyuck’s heart burst at the seams at the warmth of Mark’s hand, at the comfort it brings, at the sincerity of his touch and the sweetness of his words.

“I guess it is also my fault for not being clear with you—I like you, I like you so much Donhgyuck and not just because you take care of Cheonsa. That’s part of the reason why, too. But I like you, as you are—you’re vibrant, you’re bright, you’re smart and funny.” Donghyuck mirrors the smile on Mark’s face, finding it in himself to feel abashed at the plethora of compliments. “You’re the embodiment of the sun and I’m so blessed to even have you let me near you.”

Donghyuck feels warmth creep up to his neck, holding Mark’s hand and not even bothering to hide the smile from his face. “Mark, I like you. Even if you’re cheesy like this sometimes.”

Mark doubles over in laughter, not letting go of Donghyuck’s hand, but when Mark lifts his head back up with his eyes open and moist from the forming tears of laughter, Donghyuck’s breath hitches.

He looks into Mark’s eyes and feels nothing but drawn to them. There’s an effervescent sensation beginning in his ribcage, and it’s screaming at him to touch and be close, to kiss and _kiss_ and hold.

“Can I kiss you?” He’s the one to ask, pulling Mark forward with his wrist.

“I wish you would.” But it’s Mark who leaps out of his chair, bounds the one step it takes to get to Donghyuck and engulfs him in a searing kiss, Mark’s hand to his nape and Donghyuck’s hands clasping at the front of Mark’s shirt.

It’s a kiss that burns with want and longing, of unresolved tension and of unsaid confessions finally exploding—it feels of letting go, and of claiming it all at the same time. 

They pull apart to breathe, but Donghyuck takes this time to pull Mark down to sit on his lap, chest to chest, heartbeat to heartbeat.

Mark looks down at him, almost instinctively wrapping his arms around his neck as he bites down a smile. “You don’t know how much I imagined this.”

“Oh,” Donghyuck sighs out, slight hands massaging Mark’s hips as he tips his head up just enough for their noses to brush, “I can say the same, really.”

It’s Donghyuck who closes the gap this time around, craning his neck upwards so Mark meets him halfway. Donghyuck kisses Mark like he’s never kissed anyone before, tongue slipping easily inside the cavern of Mark’s mouth. He traces the crevices of Mark he’s only ever fantasized of reaching before, and Mark lets him—open-mouthed and wanton, wanting, craving.

But Mark isn’t pliant, he responds, and eagerly so. It takes no time at all before he’s sucking at Donghyuck’s tongue, bringing a pleasant surge of heat to the pit of Donghyuck’s stomach, makes his guts coil and uncoil and his nerves buzz.

Donghyuck breaks the kiss, but only to kiss down the length of Mark’s jawline, to his neck, and mouths at the dip of his collarbone. Mark angles his neck in response, groaning softly as he tugs on the strands of Donghyuck’s hair, their kimbap and milk long forgotten.

He wonders how lucky he must be to have Mark this responsive above him, neck bared open for him, soft sounds emitting from parted lips. It’s all he’s ever wanted and more.

“Mark?” Donghyuck asks, voice muffled with his mouth against Mark’s skin.

“Mhm?” Mark answers, lazy, lost in the haze Donghyuck’s lips bring.

“How’d you know I was here?”

Mark pulls away from Donghyuck and looks at him with a small smile. “You told me you were staying here and you wanted me to get you… so I went over last night, but Jaemin, Jeno and Renjun were physically stopping me from getting in. Said you were crying in Jaemin’s room?”

Donghyuck’s laughter bubbles in his throat and he hides his face in the crook of Mark’s neck as he laugh. “I can imagine that.” He says, pressing a kiss to the underside of Mark’s jaw before he pulls away to look up at him. “Don’t believe anything they say ever, okay?”

Mark nods. “Okay. I’ll only believe you.”

“Just me.”

◌

Today is the last day of Cheonsa’s kindergarten year and tomorrow, Donghyuck will graduate from university. It’s been two years since Donghyuck walked into their life, or rather, since Cheonsa walked straight into Donghuck’s arms and the both of them had stayed since then.

Mark has started producing music more seriously now, recently, he signed a contract with a well-known entertainment company to create music for their artists. He’s living the dream he’s always wanted to have, and he can’t be possibly happier. He has music, he has Cheonsa, and he has Donghyuck—most of all.

Today as Mark and Donghyuck send Cheonsa to the last day of her kindergarten, as they walk back to their car talking about Donghyuck’s graduation celebration, Mark slips his hand inside his pocket and feels the ring inside of it. It’s a simple silver band, knowing Donghyuck likes it simple.

Tomorrow night, during Donghyuck’s graduation dinner in front of all of their family and friends, Mark will ask Donghyuck to marry him.

**Author's Note:**

> p.s. yes those are candlelight lyrics  
> p.s.s. i imagine mark's song that played in the club to be drippin' or something similar to that sound/lyrics  
> p.s.s.s. thanks for pointing out the missing sentence LOL i was supposed to edit it in but i forgot so jdksjskdj
> 
> [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20892758) is a mini sequel of sorts where they celebrate cheonsa's 3rd birthday! :D


End file.
